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Oor Willie's Gaun Tae Hollywood
by Gerry Haughey

 It’s amazing the insight that oor Willie’s gained,
Since he moved tae LA LA land.
Aw the answers tae Scotlands problems he solved,
Oan a day pass tae Disneyland.

He feels right at hame in the factory o dreams,
Wi his keen grasp o things hypothetic.
He can dream wi the best oor Willie can,
And can dae it withoot anaesthetic.

He knows aw the answers oor Willie does,
An his memory is simply amazing.
He’ll recite the Koran while he reads War and Peace,
(Well he will….. when he stops navel gazing).

He’s offered tae lecture the paratroops oan,
Jumping frae planes wi nae ‘chute.
He’ll master relativity while buttering his toast,
An push back the waves fur Canute.

Could oor Willie be King o the Scots noo?
Is it pairt o his long term agenda?
Could he rule, (wi a haun held remote control),
Frae his Fairyland hacienda?

When he stood in the Hall o Mirrors,
(Wi his equals he thought he’d converse).
But alas, he only got blinded,
By the starlight that shone frae his erse.

See also Gerry's Poem Who is a Scot?

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