Lyrics composed by John 'McGonnagabble' Henderson on the 12th of March, 2014, to Joseph E. Howard's 1909 music for the song, "I Wonder Who's Kissing Her Now".

Verse:
Up the tap o' the toon in ma days as a loon
The auld Hich Schule wis aye guid fur me;
Aa the Maisters an' Mistresses kept ma heid doon,
Sae Ah lern'd mair nor jist A, B, C.
Bit I cud oot o' class aye fin time mak a pass
At aa lassies fa catchit ma ee;
'Tho fur Ah wis an imp, an' as wee as a shrimp,
Twis a richt waist o' ilk-play-time fur me !

Chorus:
Ah wonner fa's oglin' them noo,
Like gif they're 'birds' in a zoo?
Anse dae they aye flaff like butterflees,
Hoverin', ull at ease?
I bet tho' thit they're raley pleesed,
E'en ackin' as slichtly surpreesed.
Shair gif they linger baul laddies tae tease,
They'll dootless think daffin's a wheeze !