Search just our sites by using our customised search engine

Unique Cottages | Electric Scotland's Classified Directory

Click here to get a Printer Friendly PageSmiley

Poems by Billy Henderson
Lateral Thinkin’ Blues


1. Well ah didnae wake up this mornin’, ‘cause somebody laced ma gin.
       “      “     “         “      “    “       “               “          “             “      “    “.
    When ah finally rose ah went down on my nose, ‘cause they also laced ma shin.

2. So ah went down for some beechems, and I thought I’d crack me a can.
    I got back upstairs I was gobsmacked,-- see ah stei in a caravan.

3. So I took out my Yamaha, -- and sat me down to write a song.
    But I couldn’t put pen to paper, -- ‘cause my petrol tank was gone.

4. So I got out my dohbro, put some riffs down on that tape-deck on the shelf.
    Then I played it back and I joined in, -- ‘cause I like playin’ with myself.

5. Well my Maisie she done left me, cause I’m just too fond of that weed.
    Ah but life’s for livin’ baby, --- cause you’re a lang time deid.

6. I went down to ‘Sooky’ Tawdry’s, -- she lives up to her name boy you can bet.
    Oh Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy give me chastity, but not --- quite --- yet.

7. Well Maisie’s ol’ man he came after me, with his ’45 and his eyes so full of hate.
    But he didn’t stand a chance against, ------- my big -78.

8. But ol’ Bill he done catch me, and I’m lyin’ in this prison-cell for my sin.
    I’d have made my escape easy but, --- I still hudnae unlaced my shin.

9. Oh it’s a thousand miles to breakfast, but it’s even further to Nepal.
    Well you’d better take your mac Jack cause a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.

(Moral.)

10. So you can’t keep a horse in a lighthouse, or off a bus your granny kick.
     Cause the Leith police dismisseth us, --- and the sixth sheikh’s sixth sheep’s sick.

11. Don’t live your life in no fast lane, --- and stay clear of that smack and booze;
      Or you’ll wind up singin’ those lateral thinkin’ – eat your greens blue
byyou. 

(Just make up your own 12 – bar – blues tune.)

© Idlefrets Music. 10/10/1999.


Return to Billy's Index Page


 


This comment system requires you to be logged in through either a Disqus account or an account you already have with Google, Twitter, Facebook or Yahoo. In the event you don't have an account with any of these companies then you can create an account with Disqus. All comments are moderated so they won't display until the moderator has approved your comment.

comments powered by Disqus

Quantcast