Search just our sites by using our customised search engine

Unique Cottages | Electric Scotland's Classified Directory

Click here to get a Printer Friendly PageSmiley

Jim Campbell
The Shark - ”A True but Fishy Tale”


IT WIS THE LAST HAUL ON A FRIDAY FIN THE SHARK DROPPED ON THE DECK OOT O’ THE COD END. HAULIN’ IT FORRIT OOT O’ THE WYE THE SKIPPER SAID TAE TOMMY FLYNN FIT ARE YE GAUN TAE DEE WI’ THAT, THROW IT BACK OWER THE SIDE IT’S NAE WORTH NITHIN’. BUT TOMMY HAD SOMETHIN’ ELSE ON HIS MIND FIT HE WID DEE WI’ THE SHARK. LATER ON THAT NICHT EFTER THE HAD FEENISHED LANDIN’ THEY GIED UP THE ROAD FOR A PINT OR TWA AND AS USUAL THEY GOT KERRIED AWA, THEIR INTENTIONS WERE TAE GO TAE THE DANCE IN THE CORRAN HALLS LATER ON BIT THEY HAD LEFT IT TOO LATE, AS YOU HAD TAE BE IN AFORE THE PUBS SHUT. NAE TAE BE DETERRED FLYNN’S EARLIER IDEA CAM BACK INTAE HIS HEAD, C’MON BACK DOON TAE THE BOAT AND GIT THE SHARK AND WE WILL DRAG IT OWER TAE THE SHELTERS FAR THE COURTIN COUPLES SIT HE SAID TAE THE REST O’ HIS BOOZIN BUDDIES. HEARIN’ THE PLAN THEY READILLY AGREED TAE TAK PERT IN THE PRANK, SO THEY DRAGGED THE SHARK OWER THE PROM AND SET IT DOON ON THE SEAT. HIDIN’ AHUN THE EDGE O’ THE PIER THEY WAITED FOR THEIR FIRST UNSUSPECTIN’ COUPLE.

THEY HIDNA LONG TAE WAIT AFORE THEY ARRIVED, AS THERE WISNA ONY STREET LICHTS NEAR THE SHELTERS IT WIS THE IDEAL PLACE FOR COUPLES BEEIN’ ON THERE OWN FOR A BIT O’ SNOGGIN’.

IT WIS FINE AND DARK BUT THAT WIS TAE BE THE DOWN FALL FOR THE LOVEBIRDS. THE UNSUSPECTIN’ PAIR MADE THEIR WYE INTAE THE SHELTER BUT FIN SHE SAT DOON THERE WIS AN IMMEDIATE SKIRL O’ HORROR. “FITS WRONG”? ENQUIRED HER SUITOR, ”FITS WRONG, I’VE JIST SAT ON A SHARK” SHE SCREAMED. DINNA BE DAFT HE ADMONISHED HER, BUT FIN HE EXAMINED THE SEAT HE SOON FOUND OOT SHE WIS RICHT. MEANTIME THE BOLD LADS WERE IN FITS O’ LAUCHTER, BUT FIN THEY HEARD THE COUPLE SAY THAT THEY WERE GAUN TAE PHONE THE BOBBIES THEY THOCHT THEY HAD BETTER REMOVE THE EVIDENCE. GRABBIN’ THE SHARK BY THE TAIL THEY DRAGGED IT BACK ALONG THE PROM INTAE THE CENTRE O’ THE TOON.

DURIN’ THE JOURNEY FLYNN HAD DECIDED THEY WID HING IT UP ON A LAMPOST IN THE MIDDLE O’ THE SQUARE. FIN THEY ARRIVED HE CLIMBED UP THE LAMPOST TRYIN’ HARD TAE TAK THE WEICHT O’ THE SHARK AT THE SAME TIME. FIT HE DIDNA KEN WIS THAT THE REST O’ THE ROGUES HAD SEEN THE BOBBIES COMIN’ AND TOOK TAE THEIR HEELS, MEANWHILE FLYNN SHOUTED OWER HIS SHOOTHER FIR GODS SAKE GI’ES A HAUN, THE REPLY WISNA LONG IN COMIN’ BACK, THE ONLY HAUN YOU WILL GET IS AHIN YER BACK WI’ A PAIR O’ HANDCUFFS ON THEM. LATER CHARGED WITH DEFACING PUBLIC PROPERTY IT MADE THE HEADLINES IN A’ THE SUNDAY PAPERS MUCH TAE THE ANNOYANCE O’THE LONG SUFFERIN’ SKIPPER.



 


This comment system requires you to be logged in through either a Disqus account or an account you already have with Google, Twitter, Facebook or Yahoo. In the event you don't have an account with any of these companies then you can create an account with Disqus. All comments are moderated so they won't display until the moderator has approved your comment.

comments powered by Disqus

Quantcast