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From a Half Scottish Australian


Came across your website some time ago, enjoyed the jokes, here are 2 Scottish jokes you can add (not sure if I missed them or you've seen them before)

A Scotsman, Englishman & Irishman decide to set up a furniture removal business in London. On the first day they get a call from a young lady moving house so they head out to her address. She explains she needs her furniture taken up to the second floor of the apartment & leaves them to it. After an hour she returns to check on them & see's the Englishman & the Scotsman struggling to lift a heavy wardrobe & the flight of stairs. She says to them what happened to the Irishman? Why doesn't he help you?

The Scotsman Replies: 'Oh he is helping, he inside holding the hangers so they don't rattle...'


An Englishman & a Scotsman walk into a baker, & as they head in the Englishman says: we English are much smarter than you Scottish, I bet i can steal 3 cookies without the baker seeing.

When the baker has his back turned, as quick as a flash the Englishman pinches 3 cookies & puts them in his coat pocket without the baker seeing.

The Scotsman says: Not bad, but we Scottish are still smarter.

He goes up to the baker & says: I can show you a magic trick that I bet you have never seen before.

The baker says: ok, show me.

Scotsman says: Give me a cookie. & then eats it.

Baker says: what's this magic trick?

The Scotsman says: Give me another cookie.

The baker reluctantly does & the Scotsman eats that too.

The baker again says: Now what is this magic trick?

The Scotsman says: give me just one more cookie.

The baker, already out 2 cookies begrudgingly gives him a third cookie.

The Scotsman eats that cookie as well

The baker now rather abruptly says: I've given you 3 cookies now show me this magic trick.

The Scotsman says: 'Now look in the Englishman's pocket...'


 

Regards (from a half Scottish - Australian)


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