A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are
you sure? "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he
replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I
mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room, and returned a few moments
later with a large black Labrador Retriever. As the
duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on
his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination
table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then
looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The
vet patted the dog, took it out, and returned a few
moments later with a beautiful cat.
The cat jumped up on the table
and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman
and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet
turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock,
took the bill. "$150", she cried, "$150 just to tell me
my duck is dead" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd
taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but
what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan.....