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The Letter

Father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.  I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice €” even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.  But it's not only the passion, Dad €” she's pregnant and Barbara said that we will be very happy.

Even though you wouldn't care for her as she is much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.  She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son,


P.S.  Dad, none of this is true.  I'm over at the neighbor's house.  I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you!

Call when it's safe for me to come home.

Thanks to Rebecca and Mack for sending this in.

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