Lauchlan M'Bain was a native of Old Meldrum,
Aberdeenshire, where he served his apprenticeship as a tailor. He
afterwards became a soldier, and at one time served in the 21st, or
Royal Scots Fusiliers. It is not said whether he had been at the
inglorious affair of Prestonpans, but he hesitated not to state that he
was one of the victors at Culloden. At what period he obtained his
discharge is unknown; but, unfortunately for him, his retirement from
the army was not accompanied by any pension. Upon the cessation of his
military duties, he came to Edinburgh, where he settled down in civil
life, by becoming a manufacturer of fly-jacks and toasting-forks. In
this vocation Lauchlan soon acquired notoriety, and became one of the
characters of "Auld Reekie." Those who recollect him, and there are
many, still remember the fine modulations of his sonorous yet musical
voice, as he sang the "roasting, toasting" ditty; and, like Blind Aleck
of Glasgow, he was "the author of all he made, said or sang."
Lauchlan was unquestionably a favourite with the populace; but as the
most universally esteemed are unable to elbow through the world without
sometimes giving offence, so it happened with the honest vendor of
roasting-jacks. His professional chant, as he frequently winded his way
up the back-stairs leading from the Cowgate to the Parliament Square,
became exceedingly annoying to the gentlemen of the long robe, who,
though anxious to abate the nuisance, were unable legally to entangle
their tormentor in the meshes of the law. Lauchlan, sensible that these
visits might be turned to account, was most assiduous in paying them,
and never failed, when the judges were sitting, to exert his stentorian
lungs under the windows of the Court-house. This he did with such
success, that at length both judges and practitioners, having lost all
patience, collected amongst them a sum of money, which they deemed
sufficient to purchase an exemption in future from these provoking
visitations. Lauchlan pocketed the fee, and promised faithfully not to
let his voice come within hearing of the Court in future. He no doubt
intended to keep religiously by the letter of his agreement, but at the
same time mentally calculated upon the eclat, if not the profit, of
outwitting a whole court of lawyers. Accordingly, next day he was seen
at the usual spot with a huge bell, to which he gave full effect by a
scientific movement of the arm that would have done credit to the most
experienced city-bellman. Many wondered at the sudden change in Lauchlan's mode of announcing his presence; but he explained this by
facetiously remarking, that "having sold his own tongue to the judges,
he was under the necessity of using another." The ingenuity of Lauchlan
was rewarded by an additional douceur, coupled with the condition, which
he scrupulously kept, that in future there was to be an absolute
cessation of his visits in that quarter.
In the course
of his peregrinations, Lachlan offended a well-known civic dignitary,
Bailie Creech, one of the chief booksellers in Edinburgh, whose shop
formed the east end of the Luckenbooths. The Bailie felt his dignity
lessened by the contemptuous manner in which the Veteran of Culloden
treated his instructions not to bawl so unharmoniously in front of his
premises. At last, resolving to compel obedience, he summoned Lauchlan
to compear before the magistrates. On the day of trial the defender
fearlessly entered the Council Chamber, where Creech sat in judgment.
After the complaint had been preferred, and a volley of abuse discharged
by the angry Bailie, old Lauchlan, with an air of well-assumed
independence, produced his discharge, and asserted the right which it
gave him to pursue his calling in any town or city in Great Britain,
save Oxford and Cambridge. The northern Dogberry was dreadfully vexed
that in this way his mighty preparation had come to nothing; and, after
advising with the ordinary assessor in the Bailie Court, the well-known
James Laing, he found himself compelled to dismiss the complaint. No
sooner had Lauchlan regained the "crown o' the causey," than a
universal shout from the "callants" announced the defeat of the Bailie;
while the victor, taking his station on the debateable ground in front
of the shop, commenced with renewed vigour the obnoxious cry of "R—r—r—
roasting, toasting jacks." This was repeated so often, that even the
penurious Mr. Creech was compelled to purchase a cessation of
hostilities.
Notwithstanding all his popularity,
however, poor Lauchlan found himself, at an advanced age, possessor of
more fame than fortune. It is possible that his own tippling
propensities, and consequent want of economy, may have had some share in
producing this disastrous result. On one occasion the late Mr. Smith,
lamp-contractor for the city of Edinburgh, was the means of saving the
poor fellow's life, having found him fast asleep, in a cold wintry
night, among the snow near the Meadow Cage.
Finding
old age and frailty stealing upon him, Lauchlan made an unsuccessful
application, in 1805, to the Marquis of Hastings, then Earl of Moira,
who was at the time Commander-in-Chief of the Forces in Scotland, to
obtain a pension in consequence of the long period of his service.
Starvation or the Workhouse were now the veteran's only alternatives.
His philosophy preferred the latter, and the interest of some friends
procured him admission to the Charity Workhouse. One would have thought
his weatherbeaten hulk had at length found a quiet haven—but no
genius, it has been remarked, is always young, and the adventurous
spirit of the warlike son of Mars could not subside into inglorious
quiescence. Old Lauchlan, at the age of ninety-six, was turned out of
barracks for an amour! The tender-hearted old nurse of the
establishment—some twenty years younger than himself—had shown him
kindness during an illness, ministering to his wants, and sometimes
sitting at his bedside, receiving with greedy ears his stories
"Of moving accidents by flood and field, Of hairbreadth 'scapes in
the imminent deadly breach."
One day—one unpropitious
day—an evil eye beheld the simple pair; and such proceedings not being
in accordance with the rules of the establishment, they were both
expelled. What could a man of spirit do in such a dilemma? Marriage
could alone testify his gratitude to the gentle fair, and his resentment
of a harsh world's cruelty.
In a second Print of the
vendor of roasting-jacks, done in 1815, the contrast in the "altered
gait" of the two figures, is a striking illustration of the progress of
time. He is here represented as again employed in the disposal of his
roasting-jacks; but, alas! the best of his days were over. Like other
geniuses, he found he had outlived his reputation; and the useful
implements in which he dealt hardly enabled him to beat off the wolf
from his door. His wife continued to cling to him through all his
adversity, and, it is said, helped to cheer the gloomy winter of his age
and fortunes. Lachlan appears, however, to have again obtained admission
to the Workhouse; for, in a notice of his death, it is stated that he
died there on the 3rd October, 1818, aged 102. |