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A UNIVERSAL holiday was held
in Edinburgh on "Commissioner's Day" when the Lord High Commissioner opened
the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, the day being held as the
Queen's Birthday in Edinburgh. We thought the procession one of the grandest
sights of the year, although in those days it was a comparatively shabby
affair compared with what it is now. I heard how the post was generally
given to a poor peer,1order that he might make something out of the
allowance given. And some of them did succeed n doing so, the hospitality
being very restricted, and by no means sumptuous.
The story is told that, the
day of bottled peas not having come, the caterer, though doing things
shabbily, always provided a small saucerful of early green peas for the
Commissioner's personal delectation, and that on one occasion when the
Moderator sat next to him—there being no lady guests in those days—the
Commissioner observed to the Moderator, "I'm afraid you haven't got any
vegetables."—"Oh, replied the Moderator, "am I not nice, I'll just tak a
wheen peas," and seizing the Commissioner's saucer emptied the whole of the
contents on to his own plate and went on with his dinner.
Connected with the General
Assembly for many years there was a "character," by name Michael Sanderson,
a bird staffer by trade. He for a long period was the dry-nurse of the
Moderator, attending him on all occasions. I recall a most amusing scene at
a Moderator's dinner. Michael having mounted a chair to call out the names
of those who were to sit at the Moderator's table, he called out first, "On
the right of the chair, the Lord Provost, the Dean of the Faculty of
Advocates"—naming some eight or ten. Then in the driest and most
matter-of-fact tones came the words, "Noo fur the goats"! The sensation this
caused may be imagined, 'here was a dead pause, but the humour of the thing
overcame clerical decorum, and a roar of laughter followed.
Another amusing incident
occurred at one of the General Assembly receptions. Many of the ladies who
attended the drawing-room of Her Grace, the lady of the Lord High
Commissioner, were, as might be expected, ignorant of etiquette, and apt to
lose then' heads when taking part in ceremonial. One worthy minister's wife
had been carefully coached to make a low curtsey to their Graces on entering
the Reception Room. On passing in she saw a gorgeous gold-laced figure on
her right hand, being the powdered footman, who stood opposite to direct the
people on. She turned to him, and dropped her best practised low curtsey in
front of him. Fortunately he was equal to the occasion. Retaining the wooden
face of the vell-trained servanthe stood till she rose, and then gently
seizing her by the shoulders he turned her round, and ;n low tones said,
"Now do that again."
On the occasions of the Lord
High Commissioner's processions the soldiers lining the streets, including
the Pensioners, who were then an organised body, and turned out in a blue
uniform for eight days' drill yearly, were always an object of great
interest to me. I had seven uncles, all of whom were soldiers, and the
oldest was Wellington's Adjutant-General for many years. Naturally my boy
mind turned to a soldier's life, and I gazed appreciatively at my country's
defenders in their tight clothes, hard cotton epaulettes, and stiff
attitudes, with their cast-iron stocks and their lungs and heart-squeezing
belts supporting knapsacks of polished, painted canvas, stretched square on
a wooden inside frame. The soldier could not put on or take off his pack
without help, and woe be to him if a scratch was found on it at inspection.
I have seen soldiers, after taking off die knapsack temporarily, when
allowed to fall out before a review, most carefully spread out their
pocket-handkerchiefs on the grass, and gently lower the knapsacks on to
them, as a mother would lay her baby in a cradle. But the headgear was the
most remarkable thing. A great shako which spread out at the top like a
flowerpot, and with it's brass plates and chains and hard inner rim inviting
headache, was constructed on the top so as to hold nearly half an inch of
water.
A man standing steadily at
attention would get this great saucer filled with water if a shower fell,
and whenever he moved, the whole contents used to splash over him, washing
his expanse of pipeclay down on to his brick-red coat and his dark trousers,
to cause him great trouble in making ready for the next parade; or, if he
turned his head back, a half-pint of water did it's best to run inside his
stock. This is a further instance of the ingenuity displayed in the devising
of head-dresses to make them as uncomfortable and inconvenient as possible.
Not long after the time I speak of the style was absolutely reversed.
Instead of the soldier's hat spreading out at the top, it was drawn into an
inverted flower-pot style, which was supposed to be the design of the Prince
Consort, and came to be known by the name of the "Albert kettle." this
lasted a very short time, and the top was still further narrowed into the
shako shape, copied from the French. This held its own for some years, until
the Germans beat the French, when the shako was discarded and a bad
imitation of the Prussian Pickel-haube substituted for it.
The rest of the soldier's
equipment in those days was as absurd as the knapsack and the hat. Below the
knapsack hung a great cartridge-box, which had to be made to shine like
enamel, or punishment was certain to follow. And below this was the bayonet
slanting across the body. So absurdly was this huge cartridge-box hung that,
when the order was given for "double march," the unfortunate soldier had to
pass his free hand behind him, to save his loins and spine from being
bruised by the violent blows of the sixty rounds of heavy ball-cartridge.
Boys like myself used to jeer at the sight, especially when, the order to
double was given after firing, and the men had no time to fasten the cover
down. Many a blank cartridge, riding on the top of the packets of ball, was
jerked out, and we followed and picked them up, rejoicing in the possession
of powder, which parental caution forbade us to buy.
It is difficult now to
conceive how such things could have lasted as they did for many a year.
Absurd, unpractical, and oppressive as all these clothes and accoutrements
were, they could be endured, and were endured in this country. But who now
can do otherwise than marvel that when soldiers went abroad to hot climates,
they were required to wear this same equipment, in which the natural
articulations of the body were set at nought, and the best means taken to
hamper the action of heart and lungs, at times when the severest calls were
to be made upon them, marching in close columns in tropical heat. Lord
Wolseley told me that on one occasion in India, in such circumstances,
twenty-one men dropped down dead in the centre of the column, and all in ten
minutes. He said that it was a lesson he had never forgotten.
But to my boyish observation
all was right, and I longed for the day when I too would be beside these
heroes, as they were to me. I rejoice that I have lived to see a better
state of things, in which the soldier is treated like any other workman,
clothed rationally, so that there is freedom to the internal organs and to
the limbs, and with ahead-dress for manoeuvre and service that keeps the
head from oppression either by hardness or by weight, or by impenetrability
to perspiration.
On Queen's birthday evening
we had our fireworks, and .in our eagerness often set the light to some of
them before the darkness had set in, so that they could not be seen
properly. I recollect in connection with this part of the celebration,
fitting a snub indicative of Scottish character. My squibs and crackers,
Roman candles and Catherine-wheels, &c., had been fired off in the back-
green, in presence of all the servants. Coming back to the house, in my
conceit I was foolish enough, in the presence of the others, to ask the old
cook what she thought of the display. Her reply quietly and sententiously
given was: "Weel, mester Johnny, I jist think that fules and their money are
sune pairtit." I passed on into the house, trying to make my back look
dignified, in which I feel sure now that I failed ignominiously. |
