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The Anecdotage of Glasgow
Andrew Fairservice on Glasgow Cathedral

AHI it’s a brave kirk—nane o’ your whigmaleeries and curliewurlies and open steek hems aboot it—a’ solid, weel-jointed mason-wark, that will stand as lang as the warld keep hands and gunpowther aff it. It had amaist a douncome lang syne at the Reformation, when they pu’d down the kirks of St Andrews and Perth, and thereawa’, to clense them o’ Papery, and idolatry, and image-worship, and surplices, and sic rags o’ the muckle hure that sitteth on seven hills as if ane wisna braid enough for her hinder end. Sae the commons o’ Renfrew and o’ the Barony, and the Gorbals, and a’ about, they behoved to come into Glasgow ae fine morning, to try their hand on purging the High Kirk o’ Popish nicknackets.

But the townsmen o’ Glasgow they were feared their auld edifice might slip the girths in gaun through sicean rough physic, and they rang the common bell, and asseinbled the train-bands wi’ took o’ drum. By good luck, the worthy James Rabat was Dean o’ Guild that year (1579)—and a guid mason he was himsel’, which made him the keener to keep up the auld biggin’ ;—and the trades assembled, and offered downright battle to the commons, rather than their kirk should coup the crans, as others had done elsewhere.

it wisna for love o’ Paperie—ria, na !—nane could ever say that o’ the trades o’ Giasgow—sae they came to an agreement to take a’ the idolatrous statues of sants (sorrow be on them) out o’ their neuks. An sae the bits o’ stane idols were broken iii pieces by Scripture warrant, and flung into the Molendiner bunt, and the auld kirk stood as erouse as a eat when the fleas are kamed afi’ her, and a’ body was alike pleased. And I ha’e heard wise folk say tint if the same had been done in illca kirk in Scotland, the Reform wad just have been as pure as it is e’en now, and we wad hae mair Christian-like kirks; for I hae been sac lang in England that naething will drived out o’ my head, that the dog-kennel at Osbaldistone Hall is better than xnony a house o’ God in Scotland.

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