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The Anecdotage of Glasgow
A Glasgow suburban presentee's fair offer

A MINISTER was presented to a living in the vicinity of Glasgow, who had a protuberance between his shoulders, arising from diseased spine, and a corresponding protrusion of the chest. The parishioners were opposed to a person of such ungainly appearance occupying their pulpit. The presentee heard of the dissatisfaction, and, being a personage of some humour and tact, convened a meeting of the malcontents in order to ascertain their objections.

"I have heard," said he, that my settlement amongst you is not likely to be agreeable. Now, as I am not aware of any objection to my opinions or practice—my slender abilities for such a charge I admit—I should like, as we are all friends and brethren, and have only one object to serve, that you would state your objections."

One glanced to another, which was as significantly returned almost round the vetoists, but silence prevailed for some time.

"Speak out," said the presentee, "don’t be afraid; I am not ready to take offence," upon which encouraging assurance one ventured to stammer out:

"Sir, you see! we—you see—sir—since I maun speak for my brethren here—dinna like your bodily appearance."

"Neither do I," was the reply of the presentee, "and if ye can get it repaired, I’ll be at half the expense myself."

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