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The Anecdotage of Glasgow
Rev. Dr. Gillan improves the occasion and meets his match

THE Rev. Dr. Gillan was one day standing at the piazza at the Tontine, near to the Cross, to get shelter from a shower of rain, when he observed a working-man vigorously puffing away at a clay pipe daring his meal hour. Desirous of improving the occasion, the doctor walked up to him, and the following ensued :—

Doctor :—" That’s a good going pipe, mister."

Young man :—" Yes."

Doctor :—" You’ll go through a good deal of tobacco?"

Young man :—" Oh, no much; sometimes three and sometimes four ounces a week."

Doctor :—" Well, my young man, see what a lot of money you could save by giving up that filthy habit. Four ounces in the week comes to one shilling, and as there are fifty-two weeks in the year, that’s two pounds twelve shillings you might save in the course of a twelvemonth, which would be a grand nest egg in the savings bank, or might buy you a splendid suit of clothes every year."

Young man :—" Doubtless, doubtless, sir; but as you have all the appearance of a well-to-do gentleman, I suppose you’ll take a glass of wine to dinner?"

Doctor :—" Yes, I generally have a couple of glasses of wine during the day."

Young man :—" And no doubt you’ll have a glass of toddy before going to bed ?"

Doctor :—" I do generally indulge to that extent each night."

Young ‘man :—" Well, that’s one shilling a day at a very low estimate, and as there are three hundred and sixty-five days in the year, that’s eighteen pounds five shillings you might easily save every year by giving up that nasty habit!" It is needless to remark that the doctor made no further attempt to improve the occasion.

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