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The Anecdotage of Glasgow
Legal acumen of a Glasgow Bailie

A Boy was brought before a Glasgow magistrate, charged with stealing a handkerchief from a gentleman’s pocket. The indictment having been read, the bailie, addressing the boy, said:

"I ha’e nae doot ye did the deed, for I had a handkerchief ta’en out of my ain pouch this vera week, sae ye maun gang to the jail for sixty days."

The assessor here interposed, stating that the case had not yet been proved against the boy.

"Oh then, in that case," said the worthy bailie, "I’ll just gi’e ye thirty days."

But on being again informed that even this sentence was contrary to law, he finally disposed of the case by saying:

"Weel, my lad, the evidence seems a wee bit jimp this time, so I’ll let ye aff; but see and no do it again!"

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