THE late John Neilson of the Claremont Tavern, Glasgow, when waiter with Mrs. Pollock, Princes Street, was ordered by a party o conceited puppies to bring them some London porter; on presenting which he was taken to task by the lords of the parlour for the time being, one of whom, backed by the others, haughtily exclaimed:

"That is not London porter, sir; take it away—some of your home-brewed stuff that has been in the house for an age."

"I say it is London porter," replied John; "but maybe you’re not verra guid judges."

"Take it away, sir, and none of your insolence," was the retort.

Jock stuck to his point till Mrs. Pollock, attracted by the disturbance, entered the room. Order was soon restored, each party relating, and looking to her for a decision in favour of their respective case. She asked John where he took it from; he answered; she said that was where it stood, but that a bottle of Scotch porter might have been placed there by mistake, and she ordered him to bring another. He brought it; and, at his mistress’s earnest solicitation, offered an apology for his conduct. John lingered, however, behind his mistress in the room, under pretence of doing something, and when he thought her fairly out of hearing, he again resumed the discussion, saying: