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The Anecdotage of Glasgow
Hawkie paying for his forebears

A GENTLEMAN, remonstrating with Hawkie on his dissolute life, said

"I am surprised that a person of your knowledge and intellect can degrade himself by drinking whisky until you are deprived of reason, and sink yourself beneath the level of the brute creation; I would allow you two glasses per day, if you cannot want it, but no more."

"Now, that’s a fair offer," replied the wit, "but will you lodge the money in a public house? Man, ye dinna ken what I feel bound to do. My forefaithers and foremithers too—for I suppose if you and me hadna had baith, we couldna ha’e been here; so as mine were a’ sober folk, I ha’e now to drink for them a’. Ye see, they ran in debt to the British Government and left me to pay it, and as I couldna do it a’ at a slump, I get an easy settlement with the folks o’ the Exchequer by paying up in instalments. Whenever I see a house wi’ reading aboon the door or in the window, ‘British spirits sold here,’ I do my best to pay in my dividend, and nae doubt it finds its way to headquarters. God save the Queen and a’ the rest o’ the royal family."

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