remonstrating with Hawkie on his dissolute life, said
"I am surprised that a person of
your knowledge and intellect can degrade himself by drinking whisky until
you are deprived of reason, and sink yourself beneath the level of the
brute creation; I would allow you two glasses per day, if you cannot want
it, but no more."
"Now, that’s a fair offer," replied
the wit, "but will you lodge the money in a public house? Man, ye dinna
ken what I feel bound to do. My forefaithers and foremithers too—for I
suppose if you and me hadna had baith, we couldna ha’e been here; so as
mine were a’ sober folk, I ha’e now to drink for them a’. Ye see, they ran
in debt to the British Government and left me to pay it, and as I couldna
do it a’ at a slump, I get an easy settlement with the folks o’ the
Exchequer by paying up in instalments. Whenever I see a house wi’ reading
aboon the door or in the window, ‘British spirits sold here,’ I do my best
to pay in my dividend, and nae doubt it finds its way to headquarters. God
save the Queen and a’ the rest o’ the royal family."
