The Wee Magic Stane

Tune: "The Ould Orange Flute"  Words: John McEvoy

O the Dean of Westminster wis a powerful man,
He held all the strings of State in his hand,
But with all this great business it flustered him nane,
Till some rogues ran away wi' his wee magic stane.
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.

Noo the Stane had great pow'rs that could dae such a thing
And withoot it, it seemed, we'd be wantin' a King,
So he called in the Polis and gave this decree--
"Go an hunt oot the Stane and return it tae me."
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.

So the Polis went beetlin up tae the North,
They huntit the Clyde and they huntit the Forth,
But the wild folk up yonder just Kiddit them a',
For they didnae believe it wis magic at a',
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.

Noo the Provost o' Glesga, Sir Victor by name,
Wis awfy pit oot when he heard o the Stane,
So he offered the statues that staun in the Square,
That the High Churches' Masons might mak a few mair.
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.

Whan the Dean o' Westminster wi' this wis acquaint,
He sent for Sir Victor and made him a Saint,
"Now it's no use you sending your Statues down heah,"
Said the Dean, "But you've giv'n me a right good idea,"
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.

So he quarried a Stane o' the very same stuff,
And he dressed it a' up till it looked like enough,
Then he sent for the Press and announced that the Stane,
Had been found and returned to Westminster again.
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.

Whan the reivers found oot what Westminster had done,
They went aboot diggin up Stanes by the ton,
And fur each wan they finished they entered a claim,
That this wis the true and original Stane.
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.

Noo the cream o the joke still remains to be telt,
For the bloke that wis turnin them aff on the belt,
At the peak o production wis so sorely pressed,
That the real yin got bunged in alang wi the rest.
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.

So if ever you come on a Stane wi' a ring,
Jist sit yersel doon and proclaim yersel King,
Fur there's nane wud be able to challege yir claim,
That you'd croont yersel King on the Destiny Stane.
With a too ra li oor ra' li oor a li ay.