Cosher Bailey had an engine
It was always wanting mending,
And according to the power,
She could do four miles an hour
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Did you ever saw,
Did you ever saw
Such a funny sight before?
2. On the night run up from Gower
She did twenty mile an hour
As she whistled through the station
Man, she frightened half the nation.
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3. Cosher bought her second-hand
And he painted her so grand
When the driver went to oil her
Man, she nearly burst her boiler.
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4. Cosher Bailey's sister Lena
She was living up in Blaina
She could knit and darn our stockings
But her cooking it was shocking.
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5. Cosher Bailey's brother Rupert
He played stand-off-half for Newport,
When they played against Llanelly
Someone kicked him in the belly.
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6. Cosher Bailey had a daughter
Who did things she didn't oughter
She was quite beyond the pale
But over that we'll draw a veil.
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7. Cosher Bailey went to Exford
For to pass matriculation
But he saw a pretty barmaid
And he never left the station.
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8. Oh the sight it was heart-rending
Cosher drove his little engine
And he got stuck in the tunnel
And went up the bloomin' funnel.
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9. Cosher Bailey's little engine
Couldn't even sound its hooter
Just to make the steam go higher
He made water on the fire.
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10. Yes, Cosher Bailey he did die
And they put him in a coffin
But, alas, they heard a knocking
Cosher Bailey, only joking.
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11. Well, the Devil wouldn't have him
But he gave him sticks and matches
For to set up on his own
On the top of Barford Hatches.
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Cosher Bailey's auntie Lilly
Who lived down in Picadilly
She ran an institution
Teaching young girls elocution.
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Cosher Bailey's cousin Morgan
Played a very large organ
It was long and it was narrow
And he wheeled it in a barrow.
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Cosher Bailey's cousin Jake
He thought he was a snake
While crawling through the grass
One bit him on his ---elbow.
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Cosher Bailey's auntie Lilly
Who lived down in Picadilly
Had a disease in her liver
And she overflowed the river.
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Cosher Bailey's cousin Roger
Played a mean game of soccer
When he tried his hand at rugger
He looked a silly --billy.
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Cosher Bailey's cousin Paul
Had but one eyeball
By design or by desire
He sung soprano in the choir.
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