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IT might, no
doubt, be readily supposed by the ingenious reader, that the mortal’s
decease should be the term of dissolution assigned to the copartnery
connection subsisting between the mortal and his ghost, as it generally
terminates every other engagement into which the
people of this world enter. The event, however, only
serves to
blend their interests still more strictly together. Whatever doubt may
exist as to the ghost’s attention to his partner’s worldly interests in
his lifetime, his solicitude for his spiritual interest, after the
mortal’s death, is universally acknowledged. He then becomes the sole
means of remedying past errors, and obtaining redress for past injuries.
To enable one fully to appreciate a ghost’s utility in the
"land of the leal," he must acquaint
himself with the nature of the life which the defunct led, whether regular
in his habits, and moral in his life, or otherwise, and the particular
situation of his affairs at death. If, for instance, a man falls suddenly
like a tree in a storm, whatever may be the situation or circumstances in
which he happens to drop, so be must lie. In this respect, then, the
peculiar advantage of the Highlander over his Lowland neighbour becomes
perfectly apparent. Through the medium of a faithful ghost and a
confidential friend, transactions, as intricate and ravelled as those of
the Laird of Coul, can be easily
simplified and assorted.
No man should, therefore, be
surprised, if the ghost of
some departed friend should take
an opportunity of saluting him, and for his own sake he should also lose
no time in enabling the awful emissary to declare the purpose of his
mission; whoever will defer doing so only increases his own misery, and it
is a task, however uncomfortable, that is sacredly due to departed
friendship; for how many, by yielding to the influence of cowardly fear,
have exposed. themselves and their household to those nocturnal rackets
sometimes raised by those disappointed ambassadors, whereas a little
resolution would not only have averted it, but have also greatly conduced
to the repose and quietude of an old and esteemed acquaintance. The
following statement of a circumstance which, we are told, happened in
Strathspey not a great many years ago, will best enforce this counsel.
"Not many years ago there lived in
Kincardine of Strathspey, a poor man, who contracted a severe and sudden
illness, which, to the great grief of his family, terminated, in his
death. From the suddenness of the honest man’s call, he had not time to
settle his affairs, and this circumstance, it seems, as might have been
supposed, caused him no small disquietude in the eternal world. He wished,
in particular, to have had an axe and a whisky barrel, which he had
borrow-ed of a friend, restored to him; for iron, you must know, in such
cases, is very bad. In order, therefore, to have this matter adjusted, the
dead man commissioned his ghost to wait on a particular friend to disclose
to him the circumstance, not doubting in the least but the friend would
have bestowed his best attention on the subject. The faithful ghost lost
no time in proceeding to get the object of his mission accomplished,
which, however, turned out rather a difficult undertaking, for it was no
easy matter for the ghost to procure a conference with the friend on the
business. One glimpse of the former never failed to communicate to the
latter the feet of a roe, nor could all his dexterity bring the matter to
a bearing. At length, exasperated by a long course of night watching, and
useless travelling, the wily commissioner had recourse to an expedient
which ultimately effected his purpose. As soon as the sun went down every
evening, the ghost opened a cannonade of bricks and stones upon the
unhappy friend, and the inmates of his house, which did not terminate till
cock-crowing in the morning, and so expert an archer was this pawky ghost,
that he scarcely ever missed an aim, while every stroke would kill a
bullock. Smarting under the effect of this unseasonable bastisement, the
friend and his family raised the most outrageous clamour at their
unaccountable misfortune, which induced some of their neighbours nightly
to assemble in considerable bodies to protect them from this nocturnal
warfare. But the wily ghost, far from relaxing his operations on that
account, only plied them with additional vigour, sparing neither sex nor
age in his sweeping career. All sorts of missiles announced themselves
rebounding on the shoulders of the protectors as well as the protected,
the pithy weight of which, and the unaccountable manner in which they were
flung, convinced the sufferers they were not flung by mortal hand. All the
acquaintances of the friend, therefore, urged on him to challenge the
invisible demon who thus savagely persecuted him at the hour of midnight,
in order to afford the latter an opportunity of explaining his business,
and the reason of his cruel and unchristian conduct. But this advice the
friend of the deceased was disposed to consider a dernier resort, and one
that required some cool consideration. At length, rendered quite desperate
by a series of unparalleled persecutions, which rendered him as thin in
body as a silver sixpence, the goodman came to a final determination to
call the ghost to account the very first opportunity, for his mean and
pusillanimous attacks on himself and poor family. Accordingly, one night,
on receiving a tart pill on the cheek, which gave him an earach, and which
wonderfully improved his courage, the goodman marched forth, with a
mixture of rage and fear, demanding of the unfeeling ghost, in a voice
resembling the falling notes of the gamut, "Wha-a-t i-i-s you-r bus-n-es
wi' rn-my ho-use a-and fa-fa-fa-mi-ly? The ghost instantly appeared happy
to answer the question; but, ere he could do so, it was necessary to go
through a ceremony, which is no less curious than it is disagreeable to
the feelings of the parties concerned.
This ceremony consists in the mortal's
embracing the ghost, and raising his feet from the ground, so as to allow
the wind to pass between the soles of his feet and the ground, which
enables the tongue-tied ghost to speak a volume. What was then to be done
in this particular case? Encouraged by the eloquent cheers and arguments
held forth to him, through the crevices of his house, by his anxious
family, he made several attempts to encircle the awful emissary in his
arms, which, by a sort of mechanical motion, receded from the embrace; and
it was not without great difficulty he could persuade himself to give a
friendly embrace to this mischievous ghost; this, however, he did at
last,—seizing him as he would a bush of thorns. The ghost’s long locked
jaws now began to speak in so sepulchral a tone as to palsy all who heard
it. The friend of the deceased promised strict attention to all the
ghost’s injunctions, upon which he evanished in a flame of fire, leaving
the unhappy man scarce able to totter to his chair. A minute compliance
with all his instructions rendered a second visit from the ghost
unnecessary —and this was no small matter of comfort to the friend."
This frigid display of a
Highlandman’s courage will appear very contemptible when compared to the
undaunted resolution of the female alluded to in the following story:
"About forty or fifty years ago, a
native of Strathdown, whose manner of living (like that of other folks)
did not qualify him for a sudden death, was unfortunately drowned in the
following manner: While in the act of cutting down a tree, in a steep
precipice bending over the river Avon, he slipped his footing—fell
headlong into the abyss below, and rose no more. His lamentable fate was
speedily discovered—his body interred, and his affairs arranged in the
best possible order. Time, the parent of oblivion, soon rendered his name
extinct among the living, and he was no longer heard of; when, on a
certain day, in the height of it, the deceased appeared in his human
likeness at the window of a female friend. On the woman’s exhibiting some
surprise and terror at his appearance, the drowned man called to her to
fear nothing, but to come forth and speak with him,—for it seems he had
been enabled to speak without the "dead-ljft." The honest woman
suspecting, no doubt, that, if she did not go out to him, he would make
the best of his way to her, obeyed his summons; and, in the course of a
long convoy she gave him, he divulged to her several acts of misconduct he
had been guilty of towards an old master and some others, which disturbed
much his repose. Anxious, no doubt, to get rid of his company, she
promised to exert the best of her endeavours to atone for his misconduct,
on condition he would leave her, and never again renew his visit,—a
promise which she faithfully performed, and the dead gave her no farther
trouble."
But the settlement of unassorted
affairs, after death, is not the only thing in which the ghost is
extremely useful. As an ambassador ever ready
to discharge any piece of useful service—such
as appeasing the unavailing grief of lamenting relatives—he is ever ready
and expert, and the delicate manner in which the ghost sometimes executes
this commission, indicates that he is far more friendly and conciliatory
in his behaviour when dead
than he was when alive. Sometimes, but very rarely, he
leaves his abode to benefit an old acquaintance or friend of his partner;
but it will no doubt be done at the instigation of the devoted latter. We
present the particulars of a favour of this sort conferred on an
inhabitant of Strathspey, no doubt a long time ago, which deserted a
better return than what the ghost at first met with.
"Engaged one night in the
arrangement of his farming affairs, a certain farmer, living in the parish
of Abernethy, was a good deal surprised at seeing an old acquaintance, who
had a considerable time previously departed this life, entering quite
coolly at his dwelling-house door. Instead of following his old
acquaintance into his house, to receive an explanation from himself
of the marvellous circumstance, his
curiosity led him into the church-yard where his friend was buried, and
which was near by, to see if he had actually risen from the dead. On
examination, he not only found the grave, but also the coffin
wide open,
which left no doubt on his mind of the reality of the
vision which he thought had deluded his sight. Making the sign of the
cross on the grave, he returned to his house, not caring whether he found
his friend before him or not. He was not, however, to be seen; but, in the
course of a short time, he turned, and upbraided the farmer for his
improper interference with his grave, explaining to him the cause of his
resurrection. It appeared, that a scabbed stirk, which had a greedy
custorn of prowling about the doors, seeking what he might devour,
thief-like entered the dwelling house in the absence of the family, and,
finding no better subject of entertainment, attacked the straw in the
cradle which stood by the fire-side, and in which his only child was
sleeping at the time. The tugging of the stirk at the straw would have
inevitably overturned the cradle and the child into the fire but for the
generous interposition of the ghost. The farmer expressed his most
grateful acknowledgments for so signal an instance of his kindness; and
immediately retraced his steps to the grave, on which he made a
counter-sign to that which he formerly made, and the good-hearted ghost
obtained admission into his dreary abode."
But these are not all the ghost’s
useful qualities. He possesses another very important one in this
unchristian and uncharitable age, in which the repositories of the dead
are exposed to the nocturnal spoiliation of the ruthless resurrectionist.
It is vain for the church-sexton to plant steel-traps and
spring-guns in the field of his labours,—the wily depredator will
contrive to elude them all when this vigilant watchman is wanted to direct
them. To show the vigilance of this agent’s attention to his own interest,
and that of his friends, on such occasions, take the following narration
:—
"There was at one time a woman, who
lived in Camp-del-more of Strathavon, whose cattle were seized with a
murrain, or some such fell disease, which ravaged the neighbourhood at the
time, carrying off great numbers of them daily. All the forlorn fires
and hallowed waters failed of their customary effects; and she was at
length told by the wise people whom she consulted on the occasion, that it
was evidently the effect of some infernal agency, the power of which could
not be destroyed by any other means than the never-failing specific - the
juice of a dead head from the church-yard, - a nostrum certainly
very difficult to be procured, considering the head must needs be
abstracted from a grave in the hour of midnight. Being, however, a woman
of a stout heart and strong faith, native feelings of delicacy towards the
blessed sanctuary of the dead had more weight in restraining her for some
time from resorting to this desperate remedy than those of fear. At
length, seeing that her bestial stock would soon be completely annihilated
by the destructive career of the disease, the wife of Campdel resolved to
put the experiment in practice, whatever the result might be. Accordingly,
having, with considerable’ difficulty, engaged a neighbouring woman to be
her companion in this hazardous expedition, they set out, about midnight,
for the parish church-yard, distant about a mile and a half from her
residence, to execute her determination. On arriving at the churchyard,
her companion, whose courage was not so notable, appalled by the gloomy
prospect before her, refused to enter among the habitations of the dead.
She, however, agreed to remain at the gate till her friend’s business was
accomplished. This circumstance, however, did not stagger our heroine’s
resolution. She, with the greatest coolness and intrepidity, proceeded
towards what she supposed an old grave, - took down her spade, and
commenced her operations. After a good deal of toil she arrived at the
object of her labour. Raising the first head, or rather skull, that came
her way, she was about to make it her own property, when, lo! a hollow
wild sepulchral voice exclaimed, "That is my head—let it alone!" Not
wishing to dispute the claimant’s title to this head, and supposing she
could be otherwise provided, she very good naturedly returned it, and took
up another. "That is my father’s head;" bellowed the same voice. Wishing,
if possible, to avoid disputes, the wife of Camp-del-more took up another
head, when the same voice instantly started a claim to it as his
grandfather’s head. "Well," replied the wife, nettled at her
disappointments," although it were your grandmother's head, you shan’t get
it till I am done with it."—" What do you say, you limmer?" says the
ghost, starting up in his awry habilments; "What do you say, you limmer?"
repeated he in a great rage. "By the great oath you had better leave my
grandfather’s head." Upon matters coming this length, the wily wife of
Camp-del-more thought it proper to assume a more conciliatory aspect.
Telling the claimant the whole particulars of the predicament in which she
was placed by the foresaid calamity, she promised faithfully, that, if his
Honour would only allow her to carry off his grandfather’s skull, or head,
in a peaceable manner, she would restore it again when done with it. Here,
after some communing, they came to an understanding, and she was allowed
to take the head along with her, on condition she should restore it before
cock-crowing, under the heaviest penalties.
"On coming out of the church-yard,
and looking for her companion, she had the mortification to find her
‘without a mouthful of breath in her body;’ for, on hearing the dispute
between her friend and the guardian of the grave, and suspecting much that
she was likely to share the unpleasant punishments with which he
threatened her friend, at the bare recital of them she fell down in a
faint, from which it was no easy matter to recover her. This proved no
small inconvenience to Camp-del-more’s wife, as there were not above two
hours to elapse ere she had to return the head in terms of her agreement.
Taking her friend upon her back, she carried her up a steep acclivity to
the nearest adjoining house, where she left her for the night; then
repaired home with the utmost speed—made dead bree of the dead
head, and ere the appointed time had expired, she restored the head to
its guardian, and placed the grave in its former condition. It is needless
to add, that, as a reward for her exemplary courage, the ‘bree’ had
its desired effect—the cattle speedily recovered—and, so long as she
retained any of it, all sorts of diseases were of short duration."
Safeguards from Ghosts.
HAVING now briefly described the
leading features of a ghost’s character in those countries, we shall close
our account of him by annexing a few of those safeguards which protect us
from those wanton encounters and impertinent interferences which we have
related, and which must be far from being palatable to the more effeminate
inhabitants of the Highland mountains at the present day.
One simple plan of obtaining perfect
security from supernatural agents of any kind is, (whenever we apprehend
the approach or presence of a ghost,) to repeat certain words, which can
be taught by any wise patriarch or matron, the powerful charm of which
instantly repercusses the ghost back to his own proper abode, and, for the
time, defeats all his machinations. Note - If in the house, the words must
be repeated three times behind the door. A ghost then can neither enter at
the door, window, nor any other crevice of the house. The operation of the
words is like that of an infeftment, which, taken on one part of the
property, affects the whole. Were it not for this grand discovery, vain
would be the attempt of any man to bar out a ghost as he might do a
mortal. A ghost can enter in at the key-hole---nay, even through the
wall of the house, if there is no other caveat to arrest him in his
career.
Another safeguard consists in
forming a piece of the rowan-tree into the shape of a cross with a
red. thread. This cross you will insert between the lining and cloth of
your garment, and, so long as it lasts, neither ghost nor witch shall ever
interfere with you. |
