The dwelling of the minister's widow
stood within a few miles of the beautiful village of Castle-Holm, about
a hundred low-roofed houses that had taken the name of the parish of
which they were the little romantic capital. Two small regular rows of
cottages faced each other, on the gentle acclivity of a hill, separated
by a broomy common of rich pasturage, through which hurried a
translucent loch-born rivulet, with here and there its shelves and
waterfalls overhung by the alder or weeping birch. Each straw-roofed
abode, snug and merry as a beehive, had behind it a few roods of garden
ground; so that, in spring, the village was 'covered with a fragrant
cloud of blossoms on the pear, apple, and plum trees ; and in autumn was
brightened with golden fruitage. In the heart of the village stood the
manse, and in it had she who was now a widow passed twenty years of
privacy and peace. On the death of her husband, she had retired with her
family— three boys—to the pleasant cottage which they now inhabited. It
belonged to the old lady of the castle, who was patroness of the parish,
and who accepted from the minister's widow of a mere trifle as a nominal
rent. On approaching the village, strangers always fixed upon Sunnyside
for the manse itself, for an air of serenity and retirement brooded over
it, as it looked out from below its sheltering elms, and the farmyard
with its corn-stack, marking the homestead of the agricultural tenant,
was there wanting. A neat gravel-walk winded away, without a weed, from
the white gate by the roadside, through lilacs and laburnums; and the
unruffled and unbroken order of all the breathing things that grew
around, told that a quiet and probably small family lived within those
beautiful boundaries.
The change from the manse to
Sunny-side had been with the widow a change from happiness to
resignation. Her husband had died of a consumption ; and for nearly a
year she had known that his death was inevitable. Both of them had lived
in the spirit of that Christianity which he had preached ; and therefore
the last year they passed together, in spite of the many bitter tears
which she who was to be the survivor shed when none were by to see, was
perhaps on the whole the best deserving of the name of happiness of the
twenty that had passed over their earthly union. To the dying man Death
had lost all his terrors. He sat beside his wife, with his bright hollow
eyes and emaciated frame, among the balmy shades of his garden, and
spoke with fervour of the many tender mercies God had vouchsafed to them
here, and of the promises made to all who believed in the Gospel. They
did not sit together to persuade, to convince, or to uphold each other's
faith, for they believed in the things that were unseen, just as they
believed in the beautiful blossomed arbour that then contained them in
its shading silence. Accordingly, when the hour was at hand in which he
was to render up his spirit into the hand of God, he was like a grateful
and wearied man falling into a sleep. His widow closed his eyes with her
own hands, nor was her soul then disquieted within her. In a few days
she heard the bell tolling, and from her sheltered window looked out,
and followed the funeral with streaming eyes, but an un-weeping heart.
With a calm countenance and humble voice she left and bade farewell to
the sweet manse, where she had so long been happy; and as her three
beautiful boys, with faces dimmed by natural grief, but brightened by
natural gladness, glided before her steps, she shut the gate of her new
dwelling with an undisturbed soul, and moved her lips in silent
thanksgiving to the God of the fatherless and the widow.
Her three boys, each one year older than the other,
grew in strength and beauty, the pride and flower of the parish. In
school they were quiet and composed; but in play-hours they bounded in
their glee together like young deer, and led the sportful flock in all
their excursions through wood or over moor. They resembled, in features
and in voice, both of their gentle parents; but nature had moulded to
quite another character their joyful and impetuous souls. When sitting
or walking with their mother, they subdued their spirits down to suit
her equable and gentle contentment, and behaved towards her with a
delicacy and thoughtfulness which made her heart to sing for joy. So,
too, did they sit in the kirk on Sabbath, and during all that day the
fountain of their joy seemed to subside and to lie still. They knew to
stand solemnly with their mother, now and then on the calm summer
evenings, beside their father's grave. They remembered well his pale
kind face—his feeble walk—his bending frame—his hand laid in blessing on
their young heads—and the last time they ever heard him speak. The glad
boys had not forgotten their father; and that they proved by their piety
unto her whom most on earth had their father loved. But their veins were
filled with youth, health, and the electricity of joy; and they carried
without and within the house such countenances as at any time coming
upon their mother's eyes on a sudden, were like a torch held up in the
dim melancholy of a mist, diffusing cheerfulness and elevation.
Years passed on. Although the youngest was but a boy,
the eldest stood on the verge of manhood, for he had entered his
seventeenth year, and
was bold, straight, and tall, with a voice deepening in its tone,
a graver expression round the gladness of his eyes, and a sullen mass of
coal-black hair hanging over the smooth whiteness of his open forehead.
But why describe the three beautiful brothers? They knew that there was
a world lying at a distance that called upon them to leave the fields,
and woods, and streams, and lochs of Castle-Holm; and, born and bred in
peace as they had been, their restless hearts were yet all on fire, and
they burned to join a life of danger, strife, and tumult. No doubt it
gave their mother a sad heart to think that all her three boys, who she
knew loved her so tenderly, could leave her alone, and rush into the
far-off world. But who shall curb nature? Who ought to try to curb it
when its bent is strong? She reasoned a while, and tried to dissuade;
but it was in vain. Then she applied to her friends; and the widow of
the minister of Castle-Holm, retired as his life had been, was not
without friends of rank and power. In one year her three boys had their
wish;—in one year they left Sunnyside, one after the other; William to
India, Edward to Spain, and Harry to a man-of-war.
Still was the widow happy. The house that so often
used to be ringing with joy, was now indeed too, too silent; and that
utter noiselessness sometimes made her heart sick, when sitting by
herself in the solitary room. But by nature she was a gentle, meek,
resigned, and happy being; and had she even been otherwise, the sorrow
she had suffered, and the spirit of religion which her whole life had
instilled, must have reconciled her to what was now her lot. Great cause
had she to be glad. Far away as India was, and seemingly more remote in
her imagination, loving letters came from her son there in almost every
ship that sailed for Britain; and if at times something delayed them,
she came to believe in the necessity of such delays, and, without
quaking, wailed till the blessed letter did in truth appear. Of Edward,
in Spain, she often heard—though for him she suffered more than for the
others. Not that she loved him better, for, like three stars, each
possessed alike the calm heaven of her heart; but he was with
Wellington, and the regiment in which he served seemed to be conspicuous
in all skirmishes, and in every battle. Henry, her youngest boy, who
left her before he had finished his fourteenth year, she often heard
from; his ship sometimes put into port; and once, to the terror and
consternation of her loving and yearning heart, the young midshipman
stood before her, with a laughing voice, on the floor of the parlour,
and rushed into her arms. He had got leave of absence for a fortnight ;
and proudly, although sadly too, did she look on her dear boy when he
was sitting in the kirk with his uniform on, and his war-weapons by his
side—a fearless and beautiful stripling, on whom many an eye was
insensibly turned even during service. And, to be sure, when the
congregation were dismissed, and the young sailor came smiling out into
the churchyard, never was there such a shaking of hands seen before. The
old men blessed the gallant boy; many of the mothers looked at him not
without tears; and the young maidens, who had heard that he had been in
a bloody engagement, and once nearly shipwrecked, gazed upon him with
unconscious blushes, and bosoms that beat with innocent emotion. A
blessed week it was indeed that he was then with his mother; and never
before had Sunnyside seemed so well to deserve its name.
To love, to fear, and to obey God, was the rule of
this widow's life; and the time was near at hand when she was to be
called upon to practise it in every silent, secret, darkest corner and
recess of her afflicted spirit. Her eldest son, William, fell in
storming a fort in India, as he led the forlorn-hope. He was killed dead
in a moment, and fell into the trench with all his lofty plumes. Edward
was found dead at Talavera, with the colours of his regiment tied round
his body. And the ship in which Henry was on board, that never would
have struck her flag to any human power sailing on the sea, was driven
by a storm on a reef of rocks, went to pieces during the night and of
eight hundred men, not fifty were saved. Of that number Henry was not;
but his body was found next day on the sand,
along with those of many of the crew, and buried, as it deserved, with
all honours, and in a place where few but sailors slept.
In one month—one little month— did the tidings of the
three deaths reach Sunnyside. A government letter informed her of
William's death in India, and added, that, on account of the
distinguished character of the young soldier,
a small pension would be settled on his mother. Had she been starving of
want instead of blessed with competence, that word would have had then
no meaning to her ear. Yet true it is, that a human—an earthly—pride
cannot be utterly extinguished, even by severest anguish, in a mothers
heart, yea, even although her best hopes are garnered up in heaven ; and
the weeping widow could not help feeling it now, when, with the black
wax below her eyes, she read how her dead buy had not fallen in the
service of an ungrateful state. A few days afterwards a letter came from
himself, written in the highest spirits and tenderest affection. His
mother looked at every word— every letter—every dash of the pen;— and
still one thought—one thought only, was in her soul;— "the living hand
that traced these lines—where, what is it now?" But this was the first
blow only; ere the new moon was visible, the widow knew that she was
altogether childless.
It was in a winter hurricane that her youngest boy
had perished; and the names of those whose health had hitherto been
remembered at every festal Christmas, throughout all the parish, from
the castle to the humblest hut, were now either suppressed within the
heart, or pronounced with a low voice and a sigh. During three months,
Sunnyside looked almost as if uninhabited. Yet the smoke from one
chimney told that the childless widow was sitting alone at her fireside;
and when her only servant was spoken to at church, or on the
village-green, and asked how her mistress was bearing these
dispensations, the answer was, that her health seemed little, if at all
impaired, and that she talked of coming to divine service in a few
weeks, if her strength would permit. She had been seen through the
leafless hedge standing at the parlour window, and had motioned with her
hand to a neighbour, who in passing, had uncovered his head. Her weekly
bounty to several poor and bed-ridden persons had never suffered but one
week's intermission. It was always sent to them on Saturday night; and
it was on a Saturday night that all the parish had been thrown into
tears, with the news that Henry's ship had been wrecked, and the brave
boy drowned. On that evening she had forgotten the poor.
But now the Spring had put forth her tender buds and
blossoms—had strewn the black ground under the shrubs with flowers, and
was bringing up the soft, tender, and beautiful green over the awakening
face of the earth. There was a revival of the spirit of life and
gladness over the garden, and the one encircling field of Sunnyside; and
so likewise, under the grace of God, was there a revival of the soul
that had been sorrowing within its concealment. On the first sweet dewy
Sabbath of May, the widow was seen closing behind her the little white
gate, which for some months her hand had not touched. She gave a
gracious, but mournful smile, to all her friends, as she passed on
through the midst of them along with the minister who had joined her on
entering the churchyard; and although it was observed that she turned
pale as she sat down in her pew, with the Bibles and Psalm-books that
had belonged to her sons lying before her, as they themselves had
enjoined when they went away, yet her face brightened even as her heart
began to burn within her at the simple music of the psalm. The prayers
of the congregation had some months before been requested for her, as a
person in great distress ; and, during service, the young minister,
according to her desire, now said a few simple words, that intimated to
the congregation that the childless widow was, through his lips
returning thanks to Almighty God, for that He had not forsaken her in
her trouble, but sent resignation and peace.
From that day she was seen, as before, in her house,
in her garden, along the many pleasant walks all about the village; and
in the summer evenings, though not so often as formerly, in the
dwellings of her friends, both high and low. From her presence a more
gentle manner seemed to be breathed over the rude, and a more heartfelt
delicacy over the refined. Few had suffered as she had suffered; all her
losses were such as could be understood, felt, and wept over by all
hearts; and all boisterous-ness or levity of joy would have seemed an
outrage on her, who, sad and melancholy herself, yet wished all around
her happy, and often lighted up her countenance with a grateful smile at
the sight of that pleasure which she could not but observe to be
softened, sobered, and subdued for her sake.
Such was the account of her, her sorrow, and her
resignation, which I received on the first visit I paid to a family near
Castle-Holm, after the final consummation of her grief. Well-known to me
had all the dear boys been; their father and mine had been labourers in
the same vineyard; and as I had always been a welcome visitor, when a
boy, at the manse of Castle-Holm, so had I been, when a man, at
Sunnyside. Last time I had been there, it was during the holidays, and I
had accompanied the three boys on their fishing excursions to the lochs
in the moor; and in the evenings pursued with them their humble and
useful studies. So I could not leave Castle-Holm without visiting
Sunnyside, although my heart misgave me, and I wished I could have
delayed it till another summer.
I sent word that I was coming to see her, and I found
her sitting in that well-known little parlour where I had partaken the
pleasure of so many merry evenings with those whose laughter was now
extinguished. We sat for awhile together speaking of ordinary topics,
and then utterly silent. But the restraint she had imposed upon herself
she either thought unnecessary any longer, or felt it to be impossible;
and rising up, went to a little desk, from which she brought forth three
miniatures, and laid them down upon the table before us, saying, "Behold
the faces of my three dead boys!"
So bright, breathing, and alive did they appear, that
for a moment I felt impelled to speak to them, and to whisper their
names. She beheld my emotion, and said unto me, "Oh! could you believe
that they are all dead? Does not that smile on Willie's face seem as if
it were immortal? do not Edward's sparkling eyes look so bright as if
the mists of death could never have overshadowed them? and think— oh !
think, that ever Henry's golden hair should have been dragged in the
brine, and filled full—full, I doubt not, of the soiling sand!"
I put the senseless images one by one to my lips, and
kissed their foreheads— for dearly had I loved these three brothers; and
then I shut them up and removed them to another part of the room, I
wished to speak, but I could not; and, looking on the face of her who
was before me, I knew that her grief would find utterance) and that not
until she had unburdened her heart could it be restored to repose.
"They would tell you, sir, that I bear my trials
well; but it is not so. Many, many unresigned and ungrateful tears has
my God to forgive in me, a poor, weak, and repining worm. Almost every
day, almost every night, do I weep before these silent and beautiful
phantoms; and when I wipe away the breath and mist of tears from their
faces, there are they, smiling continually upon me! Oh! death is a
shocking thought, when it is linked in love with creatures so young as
these! More insupportable is gushing tenderness, than even dry despair;
and, methinks, I could bear to live without them, and never to see them
more, if I could only cease to pity them! But that can never be. It is
for them I weep, not for myself. If they were to be restored to life,
would I not lie down with thankfulness into the grave? William and
Edward were struck down, and died, as they thought. in glory and
triumph. Death to them was merciful. But who can know, although they may
try to dream of it in horror, what the youngest of them, my sweet Harry,
suffered, through that long dark howling night of snow, when the ship
was going to pieces on the rocks!"
That last dismal thought held her for a while silent;
and some tears stood in drops on her eyelashes, but seemed again to be
absorbed. Her heart appeared unable to cling to the horrors of the
shipwreck, although it coveted them ; and her thoughts reverted to other
objects. "I walk often into the rooms where they used to sleep, and look
on their beds till I think I see their faces lying with shut eyes on
their pillows. Early in the morning do I often think I hear them
singing; I awaken from troubled unrest, as if the knock of their
sportive hands were at my door summoning me to rise. All their stated
hours of study and of play, when they went to school and returned from
it, when they came into meals, when they said their prayers, when they
went leaping at night to bed as lightsomely, after all the day's
fatigue, as if they had just risen—Oh! Sir, at all these times, and
many, and many a time besides these, do I think
of them whom you loved."
While thus she kept indulging the passion of her
grief, she observed the tears I could no longer conceal; and the sight
of my sorrow seemed to give, for a time, a loftier character to hers, as
if my weakness made her aware of her own, and she had become conscious
of the character of her vain lamentations. "Yet, why should I so
bitterly weep? Pain had not troubled them—passion had not disturbed
them—vice had not polluted them. May I not say, 'My children are
in heaven with their father?" —and
ought I not, therefore, to dry up all these foolish tears now and for
evermore?"
Composure was suddenly shed over her countenance,
like gentle sunlight over a cheerless day, and she looked around the
room as if searching for some pleasant objects that eluded her sight.
"See," said she, "yonder are all their books, arranged just as Henry
arranged them on his unexpected visit. Alas! too many of them are
about the troubles and battles of the sea ! But it matters not now. You
are looking at that drawing. It was done by himself —that is the ship he
was so proud of, sailing in sunshine and a pleasant breeze. Another
ship, indeed, was she soon after, when she lay upon the reef! But as for
the books, I take them out of their places, and dust them, and return
them to their places, every week. I used to read to my boys, sitting
round my knees, out of many of these books, before they could read
themselves; but now I never peruse them, for their cheerful stories are
not for me. But there is one Book I do read, and without it 1 should
long ago have been dead. The more the heart suffers, the more does it
understand that Book. Never do I read a single chapter, without feeling
assured of something more awful in our nature than I felt before. My own
heart misgives me; my own soul betrays me; all my comforts desert me in
a panic; but never yet once did I read one whole page of the New
Testament that I did not know that the eye of God is on all His
creatures, and on me like the rest, though my husband and all my sons
are dead, and I may have many years yet to live alone on the earth."
After this we walked out into the little avenue, now
dark with the deep rich shadows of summer beauty. We looked at
that beauty, and spoke of the surpassing brightness of the weather
during all June, and advancing July. It is not in nature always to be
sad; and the remembrance of all her melancholy and even miserable
confessions was now like an uncertain echo, as I beheld a placid smile
on her face, a smile of such perfect resignation, that it might not
falsely be called a smile of joy. We stood at the little while gate;
and, with a gentle voice, that perfectly accorded with that expression,
she bade God bless me; and then with composed steps, and now and then
turning up, as she walked along, the massy flower-branches of the
laburnum, as, bent with their load of beauty, they trailed upon the
ground, she disappeared into that retirement which, notwithstanding all
I had seen and heard, I could not but think deserved almost to be called
happy, in a world which even the most thoughtless know is a world of
sorrow.