Fashion Bashin’

1. It’s o’ modern day schoolin’, that I maun defile;
    Dear brethren an’ sisterin haud wheesht for a while.
    There’s a richt (#)curribuction frae Buckie tae Blenheim,
    That’s cause noo the school uniform’s boot-cuts and denim.

(Chorus) Boot-cuts and denim, boot-cuts and denim,
Cause noo the school uniform’s boot-cuts and denim.

2. Oh when I was a wean, that’s in days lang gane by,
    It was short trews wi’ a siller and royal blue tie;
    An’ Aul’(~) Mag-Anne wud dirl yir lug wi’ great ven’m,
    If ye entered her cless wearin’ boot-cuts and denim.

3. Noo it’s trainers an’ rucksacks is aw’ that a see,
    As a pass by Craignair street, juist eftur half-three.
    If a still had ma schule-claes, ma gran’son ah’d len’ ‘um,
    They wud mak’ a nice cheinge tae them boot-cuts and denim.

4. Aw it seems that guid dress sense tae me’s gane aglee,
    So a blame the parents and powers that be;
    An’ aul’ Blunkett, a lang (*) interwheecher a’d sen’ ‘um;
    Denouncin’ the wearin’ o’ boot-cuts an’ denim.

5. Juist a wee mini-skirt, a han’s bridth ‘bin the knee,
    That wud far sinner please an aul’ pervert like me;
    When a draw ma last breath a’ll be pleased juist tae ken ah’m
    Naw lyin’ in ma box wearin’ boot-cuts an’ denim.

6. Though a’ve got(=) nae consclaption, o’ whut lies ahead;
    It’s naw worth the fashin’ tae me, gin ah’m deid.
    If St. Pate’s at the gates, then ah’ll gie him some yirkin’,
    Wi’ his ticht crutchit (+) pollys, an’ faded blue jirkin.

Glossary

(#)-To-do. (~)-A 1940-50s Ma Broon look-alike skin-flaying skirge.
(*) -email. (=)-No idea. (+)-polyester trousers.