Chapter II.
Ways and Means Indispensable to Rising in the World.
To an author, who is writing, not "against time," but
against paper, the conclusion of one chapter, and the beginning
of another, is frequently a matter of no small importance. The large
capitals, together with the blank spaces which are usually left above
and below them, are to him what the "return carriage" is to the
toil-worn wayfarer, when the driver, for a small consideration, or it
may be out of pure charity, takes him up, and conveys him rapidly over
several miles of the road, without the necessity of moving his feet.
Even thus, at the end of a chapter, the man of letters can pass over a
part of his literary journey, without being obliged to tease his jaded
intellect for thoughts and sentiments-wherewith to mark the track which
he leaves behind him. This seems to be the principal reason, if not the
only one, for dividing so many works into "chapters," which, in most
instances, are reasonably short; and we trust the mention of it will be
held as a sufficient excuse for the minute subdivision of this eventful
history. Indeed, it is greatly to be regretted that the ancient manner
of printing books has fallen into desuetude. In these days, according to
a custom greatly to the advantage of the paper makers, as well as the
scribbling gentry, the author, or rather the printer, always took care
to conclude his chapters with two or three lines at the top of a page;
and, as the next chapter did not begin till about the middle of the
following one, there was, in most instances, nearly a page and .a half
with nothing upon it; and yet for this all parties were well paid,
except the reader, who had to pay well for it, which was much the same—a
was for a had to and an ed, being all that is
awanting to make the cases the same. It should also be understood that,
in the matter of book-making, the reader is to be considered as a person
of very little importance, provided always that there is only a
possibility of reaching his purse ; and if this can be done by a good
title-page, or a picture, or any thing else, it signifies nothing though
the rest of the book should be wholly composed of the beginnings and the
endings of chapters, with only blank leaves between them.
But not to proceed farther with this dissertation, it must be obvious to
every sensible reader, that Jonathan had now the prospect of rising in
the world, and attaining to respectability and importance in the eyes of
his fellow-men. But still a great deal remained to be done before the
end could be secured. There was yet a wide field for his talents and
ingenuity to occupy, and the ways and means were not to be neglected. In
this vile world, moreover, such individuals as he must always have a
great many doubts and suspicions, apart from positive envy and ill will,
in the minds of others, to overcome, before they can arrive at the
summit of their glory.
In the first place, the less gifted portion of the
community are always loth to think that a man of humble origin, whatever
his talents may be, is really rising in the world; and when they see
such a one advancing steadily to respectability and fortune, they
naturally console themselves with the idea that he is only
speculating, and that he will be shortly overtaken by ruin,
corresponding in its depth to the extent of his vanity and ambition.
Then there are those who are "well to do in the world "—those who have
been born "with the silver spoon in their mouths," and who are always
piqued at the idea of a "wooden-ladle" man aspiring to be on a footing
of equality with themselves—these are always ready to doubt, and to
depreciate, and to withhold the sunlight of their countenances from the
individual who is struggling upward, until it has been fairly proved,
beyond the possibility of farther dispute, that he is no less an
ornament to human nature than they are themselves. With all these
prejudices Jonathan had to contend, as will be seen presently: so that
it was not altogether "Fortune," but his own talents and perseverance
which, in the end, he had to thank for his prosperity.
After he had taken possession of the elegant,
blue-slated farm house of Fodderrigs, he was frequently observed casting
wistful glances toward the snug habitation of his neighbour, Mr.
Evergreen of Feathercot. Mr. Evergreen, it may be remarked in passing,
was in a very comfortable way, being worth some five or six hundred a
year, which he derived from his own hereditary property; and when they
met upon the boundaries of their respective fields, or at the markets in
the neighbouring towns, Jonathan was fain to inquire after his health,
and that of Mrs. Evergreen, and the Misses Adaline and Arabella
Evergreen, in the blandest Hand kindest manner. But upon these
occasions, the only answer which he could obtain was a formal "pretty
well, sir, thank 'e," or a simple "thank'e," followed by a "how d' ye
do, sir?" during the latter part of which address, Mr. Evergreen, in
general, walked off without waiting for a reply to his question.
Jonathan knew both the cause and the cure of all this; and, instead of
sitting down, as some silly people would have done, to make lamentations
anent the "unfeelingness of the world," or to indite bitter things
against the "exclusiveness" of the aristocracy, he set about making
matters even in a scientific way, well knowing, that when he had
succeeded in this great cardinal point, he was secure of success in
every other.
He paid unremitting
attention to the cultivation of his fields; and in the matter of
bargains he was as careful that no one should have the advantage of him
as he had been heretofore. It was even whispered that he had bought
another cow from Duncan Todleben, as reasonably as upon the former
occasion, albeit the latter was ashamed to acknowledge the circumstance.
Even things which others would have been inclined to regard as disasters
the genius of Jonathan enabled him to turn to his own advantage; and
thus, in the matter of "servants' wages," he rarely failed to effect a
considerable saving every year. But as his management in this respect
deserves to be recorded for the benefit of those who would wish to rise
in the world, the reader will, no doubt, be pleased to have an
opportunity of contemplating it more in detail.
Here, it must be
acknowledged, that in the choice of his servants he was sometimes a
little unfortunate or so. He seldom engaged them till the stock in the
market had been "o'er-waled" by others; but then, as in other cases of
the same kind, the inferior article always sells cheap, and he got them
for less money. The fellows, however, were not unfrequently such
mixtures of stupidity and arrogance, that scarcely any other master
could have known how to manage them. But, when it was for his own
interest to do so, Jonathan could command the virtue of patience in as
great perfection as ever it was exhibited by Job, or any of the other
patriarchs. Whatever was to be done, he kept an eye upon the work
constantly himself, and thus he was enabled to prevent the dunces from
either idling or falling into serious blunders. At one time he
stimulated them to do their duty by promising, if they behaved in an
orderly and becoming manner, to give them such recommendations at the
end of the year as would procure them the very best situations in the
country; and at another, he terrified them into obedience by threatening
to withhold these recommendations. Occasionally, by bestowing a little
praise upon a vain young man, or rather by merely telling him that he
was very strong, and very wise, and likely to attract general attention,
if he could only regulate his conduct in such a manner as to give
satisfaction to his employers, he secured his best exertions for a time;
and when the "water began to wax light" upon the "motive wheel," and the
oil to dry upon the machinery of his actions, he either repeated the
dose or had recourse to some new expedient. In a number of ways, none of
which would have occurred to any one except a true genius he succeeded
in getting his servants to do a great deal of hard work in the course of
the season.
But then it is altogether contrary to the economy of
Nature that crimes, or bad conduct, or stupidity, or arrogance—more
particularly if the individual chances to be poor—should go unpunished;
in short, the order of things is such that delinquencies of all kinds,,
when committed by serving-men and serving-maidens, must necessarily draw
disagreeable circumstances after them; and Jonathan's mind was so
constituted as to afford a beautiful illustration of this principle.
Patient and forbearing as he certainly was, it generally happened that
toward the end of the season—that is to say, after the crops of all
kinds had been secured, and the greater part of the wheat for the
succeeding year sown, the arrogance and presumption of one or more of
these bumpkins became altogether unbearable, or it so happened that they
were guilty of some misconduct which could not be pardoned; and,
in both cases, it became a matter of conscience, and a duty owing to
society at large, either to turn them off without their "wages,"
or to reprehend them so sharply as to make them glad to run off,
without taking time to ask anything for their past services. The latter,
it is believed, was the course most frequently adopted, and it was
certainly that which best became a humane and honest man; for to run
off at once implies a willingness to depart; and a consciousness of
guilt upon the part of the fugitive servant; while turning off is
always supposed—however erroneously— to convey the idea of harshness on
the part of the employer. A little experience, aided no doubt by
extensive observation, had taught Jonathan the utility of trying to
avoid, as much as possible, giving ground for this idea; and so
prudently did he manage these matters, that when the dunderheads
summoned him before the "Justices," for the fulfilment of his part of
the bargain, he was almost always able to bring forward such evidences
of their misconduct, and such good and substantial reasons for the
course which he had adopted, that these "interpreters of the law,"
instead of sentencing him to pay "wages," not unfrequently awarded him
"damages." Thus were these stupid clowns punished for their misdeeds and
disobedience, with empty pockets and the loss of character, while
Jonathan was rewarded for his patience and forbearance with as many
pounds as he had promised to give them for their year's labour.
Apart from the tendency which they might have to
increase his worldly possessions, these prudential measures were not
without their effect in softening the hearts of his aristocratic
neighbours. Even Mr. Evergreen and Mrs. Evergreen were not wholly
uninfluenced by them. This worthy couple were strict disciplinarians:
they were rigorous, with a wholesome rigour, in enforcing the duties of
servants, as far as circumstances would permit; and they had frequently
been heard lamenting most pathetically over the impotency of the law,
and those imperfections in its administration, which allowed so many
refractory servants to go unpunished; but when at last they saw Jonathan
standing boldly forth as the champion of their rights, and successfully
wielding the civil authority against disobedience, and all manner of
misdeeds, they could not help regarding him with a sort of involuntary
respect. By degrees this feeling ripened into an acknowledgment that he
was certainly "a well disposed man," and that his firmness might, in
time, be expected to work a great regeneration in the conduct of
servants.
What cannot patience and perseverance in a good cause
accomplish? Jonathan had now been five years in the farm of
Fodderrigs, and every year he had reaped therefrom a more abundant crop
than on the preceding one. During the whole of this period his
respectability had been steadily increasing, and it was now observed
that Mr. Evergreen had begun to eke out his wonted "pretty well, sir,
thank'e," with the additional words, "I hope you're quite well, Mr.
Moudiwort!" Here let the reader note the important revolution which had
taken place in Mr. Evergreen's mind. But a few years ago and his
neighbour was simply "Jonathan," or "the body Jonathan," or "that
creature Jonathan!" But now, without a single cubit having been added to
his stature, or a single hair of his head changed—through the sheer
force of genius, and moral and intellectual enterprise—he had come to be
Mr. Moudi-wort! Surely there is an important moral in all this,
which youthful aspirants after fame, would do well carefully to
consider.
Contemporaneously with this change of sentiment, Mr.
Evergreen had also begun to take Mr. Moudiwort's advice anent some
matters of agricultural import, and to question him, in the most
condescending manner, concerning the growth of his crops, and the best
modes of cultivation. Nor were these the only triumphs which the latter
had achieved ; for by this time it was also remarked that Miss Adaline
and Miss Arabella Evergreen, had begun occasionally to steal a most
modest and maidenly glance towards his seat in the- church, when he
happened to occupy it on a Sunday. Some even went so far as to say, that
he was most ready to return these glances with a look indicative of all
true devotion. For the dignity of history, however, it must be stated,
that the thing altogether, was perhaps no better than a mere surmise,
originating in that disposition to indulge in scandal, which prevails in
most towns, and in not a few countries. Or it might take its rise from
the circumstance of the Misses Evergreen having discovered, that the
side of the family seat in the church, upon which Mr. Evergreen was wont
to sit, had now become so frail, that there was much risk of its giving
way beneath his weight—in consequence whereof, like dutiful daughters,
as they certainly were, they insisted upon resigning their own side of
the seat—which by the way, fronted the wall—to their father, and
encountering the whole of the danger which might result from a "break
down," themselves! This, furthermore, was not the only disinterested
sacrifice which they laid upon the alter of filial affection;
for, as has been already hinted, the side of the seat which they were
now to occupy, from being opposite to that which fronted the wall, must
unavoidably front the whole congregation; and in taking possession of
it, they incurred the very great inconvenience, not to mention the
positive risk, of exposing their own most attractive countenances,
which, during the singing of the psalms, and the reading of the text,
were of necessity unveiled, to the vulgar gaze of all and sundry there
assembled; or at least to that of as many of them as might happen to
prefer those paragraphs which may sometimes be read in the eyes of young
ladies, to the pages of their psalm books and bibles, or to the melody
which the precentor was no doubt doing his best to make.
Had the congregation consisted exclusively of Mr.
Moudiworts, or of young men, who, like him, though they had been once
poor, were now rising rapidly in the world, the conduct of these young
ladies would have hardly been worth mentioning; because the mere
circumstance of accumulating money, has a wonderful effect in divesting
even vulgar things of their vulgarity, and purifying and exalting them
to a higher standard : so that any contamination which might have
previously been about them, soon ceases to exist. But when it is known
that the church of Aberdouf, like most other churches, was, to a great
extent, filled with poor men, who had to throw off their coats every day
and toil hard for their daily bread, without the prospect of ever being
richer—and that the Misses Evergreen were the daughters of Geoffrey
Evergreen, Esq. of Feathercot; who was the son of Mr. Abel Evergreen, a
cow-doctor; who was the son of some other great man—an Evergreen no
doubt— whose titles and distinctions were never distinctly understood,
—then the filial affection of these young ladies, and the amount of the
sacrifice which they were willing to make for the safety and comfort of
their father, will be better comprehended.
We have been the more particular in noticing all the
circumstances connected with this part of our history, lest the reader
should fall into the same scandalous mistake with the people of Aberdouf,
by supposing that the Misses Evergreen were making unmaidenly advances
to the hand of Mr. Moudiwort; or that Mr. Moudiwort was anxious for a
union with so distinguished a family, for selfish purposes. The truth
seemed to be, that the young ladies, as yet, had nbthing in view beyond
a most commendable wish to improve their minds, by the friendship and
conversation of so intelligent a man; while he, on his part, was willing
to afford them the little advantages which they desired. Such being the
case, it was hard indeed to have their disinterested care for the safety
and comfort of their father misconstrued, in the manner already noticed.
The blind goddess, however, if it were fair to judge from her conduct
upon this occasion, must have had some little regard for her own father,
and some little respect for those among her worshippers who entertained
the same feeling; for she was now on the point of rewarding the Misses
Evergreen, for their filial affection, with the full consummation of
their wishes, as will be seen by and by.
After these things had supplied the people of
Aberdouf, and the country thereabouts, with a subject of conversation
for a time, an accident occurred, which at once placed Mr. Moudiwort
high in the estimation of the whole family at Feathercot; and thus took
away any awkwardness which there might have been in either party making
advances to the other, in the absence of such an accident. It has been
already said that the farm of Fodderrigs was bounded on one side by a
large open drain : this drain separated it from the property of Mr.
Evergreen; and it so happened that as Mr. Moudiwort was passing along
upon its bank, engaged in deep meditation upon the luxuriance of the
crops, with which his fields were crowned, he met Miss Adaline
Evergreen, who, after the manner of romantic young ladies, had come
forth to enjoy "the beauties of Nature " upon the other side of the
drain. Had there been any of that bold and striking scenery, which Lord
Byron haf. so majestically described—any "steeps. and foaming falls"
over which she could have "leaned," or any "trackless mountains," which
she could have "climbed all unseen, with the wild flock which never
needs a fold !" or any "forest's shadowy scene," which she could have "
traced," she would have, doubtless, done all these sublime things! But
neither "foaming falls," "trackless mountains," nor "forests," chanced
to be within a convenient distance; of "flocks,'' whether "wild'' or
tame, none were within view—not even a single sheep; and thus it seemed
that, on the present occasion, she had been forced to content herself
with a walk by the side of a field of "blooming clover," which skirted
"the Big Drain," as it was called.
Here, indeed, there was not much either of that
"awful grandeur," or " enchanting loveliness," which has such
incomprehensible charms for the whole race of poets, and poetesses, and
romantic young persons of both sexes. The foresaid field of clover,
which might yield, perhaps, about two hundred stones of hay per
acre—another field of most unpoetical turnips—and a third of very
promising oats, upon the opposite bank, with a lazy stream of water
flowing over a dead level, which left its surface as smooth as that of
glass, save where it was disturbed by a water rat, who had been basking
on its side, "plumping in,"—these were the principal features of the
landscape. But then the immaterial mind is not fettered by matter, or
time; or place. It may soar away from coarse and vulgar things, and
dwell in the regions of imagination and romance, and enjoy visions of
all supposable sorts at pleasure! So, at least, the poets tell us, and
we can do no less than believe them; for what could possibly be made by
telling lies about such matters?
Thus it very probably was with Miss Adaline
Evergreen, as she came slowly onward, musing, or endeavouring to muse,
most romantically upon all that was, and all that was not around her. So
absorbing, at last, were her musings, that she had forgotten to look up
for some time; and it so happened that she was almost close upon Mr.
Moudiwort, with only "the big drain " between them, before she observed
him. Her delicacy, however, immediately took the alarm; but she was too
late to think of flying in a contrary direction, which, moreover, might
have looked a little silly, if not uncivil, as she was pleased to
suppose. As a more becoming way of managing the matter, she endeavoured
to make off, in pursuit of a butterfly—which came most opportunely to
her assistance— through the field of clover; but she had only taken a
few steps, when she discovered that there was dew, or moisture of some
sort or other upon the grass, and that she would get her shoes and
stockings, both of which were of a very fine texture, irreparably
damaged if she persisted. Mr. Moudiwort, moreover, did not attempt to
call after her; and, as a last resource, she returned to the footpath,
and, casting her eyes on the ground in a very modest manner, walked
slowly forward, indulging the hope, no doubt, that he might pass without
noticing her.
Albeit it hath been said that "hopes beguile
maidens," in this she was not so far wrong; for at the precise moment to
which we now refer, he was so deeply engaged in computing the amount of
money which every field might be expected to produce, that—unusual as
the phenomenon would have been— an angel might have passed him on the
wing, if the thing had been done noiselessly, without attracting any
share of his attention! Save an unfortunate cough, which she could not
suppress, but which, fortunately, he did not hear, Miss Adaline
Evergreen passed him in silence and in safety; and thus far fortune
favoured her up to the summit of her most maidenly wishes. The goddess,
however, is almost as well known for her fickleness as her favours; and
after having been blessed in no ordinary degree with the latter, it was
perhaps but reasonable that Adaline should be left to learn a little of
the former. At all events, she had only passed Mr. Moudiwort by a very
few yards, when her foot slipped upon the grassy bank and she fell into
the drain! uttering, as she did so, a very well bred and most lady-like
scream, which had the effect of at once awakening him from his dream of
bank notes and golden guineas; and, when he looked round, he saw her
standing upon a place in the bottom of it, which the lessening stream
had left nearly dry, and struggling violently, but without any
appearance of success, to extricate her foot—with the shoe upon it as a
matter of course—which was sticking about half-an-inch deep in the mud.
It has been said that a momentary smile dawned upon
Mr. Moudiwort's countenance at seeing this event. Perhaps it was the
benevolent contemplation, of how much good he would be able to do at a
small expense to himself, which gave it birth ; or, it might be, some
remote idea ahout young ladies with great fortunes always falling in
love with the gentlemen who rescued them from robbers, or from drowning
in tempestuous rivers, though the last is not very likely, on account of
its being too sinister an idea to pass through the mind of so honourable
a man, as well as from the circumstance of his seldom condescending to
read any of the fashionable histories in which these events are
principally recorded. Be the matter as it may, in a moment he had jumped
over the "big drain," which might be about four or five feet wide, and
had actually taken Miss Adaline Evergreen in his arms—a thing to which
necessity compelled her to submit,—and had lifted her from this "Slough
of Despond!" and set her down on terra-firma, with as much dexterity and
courtesy, as if he had been the most valorous knight whose name ever
graced the historic page.
The young lady, as might have been expected, felt a
great deal of gratitude, but could not by any means find words
sufficient to express it. She was, however, so much frightened, and so
much out of breath, from her recent struggles to get out of the drain,
that Mr. Moudiwort could do no less than offer to accompany her home—an
offer which served both to increase her gratitude, and her difficulty of
expressing it. Indeed, to have heard her straining her invention for
fitting terms, wherein to thank him for his "unbounded generosity," one
would have thought that Mr. Moudiwort had saved, not merely a single
individual, but the whole world, from being drowned by a second Deluge!
By the time they got home, however, she had so far recovered from the
effects of her fright, as to be able to introduce her deliverer to her
"papa" and her "mamma;" and to tell the whole story in so circumstantial
a manner, that it appeared quite "an adventure;" while it also appeared
pretty evident to all, that Mr. Moudiwort had been the means of saving
her from being either drowned or devoured by the water-rats! In short,
the thing seemed to have been altogether providential; and Mr. Evergreen
and Mrs. Evergreen at once acknowledged that it was such, while they
expressed their unbounded thankfulness to their much respected neighhour
for the kindly part which he had acted toward their beloved daughter;
and hoped that he would honour them and the Misses Evergreen with his
company as often as he could find a moment to spare.
Such thanks, and such an invitation, must have been
highly gratifying to Mr. Moudiwort. Indeed, the whole occurrence was
most favourable for him, inasmuch as he got nearly half his victuals at
Feathercot for several years after; along with the still greater
privilege of as much of the company of the young ladies as he might
choose. For a time these seemed to vie with each other in their devotion
to him; Adaline out of pure personal gratitude, and Arabella out of
respect for the prompt assistance which he had rendered her beloved
sister. Great, too, was the labour, and great the cost, bestowed upon
every dinner, or tea-party, or other entertainment, at which Mr.
Moudiwort was present, and these were not a few. |