WHEN Calum and
Duncan Ban
arrived at
Conversation
Bench, they
found the three
Seanairean and
Iain Og—the last
looking very
feeble—already
assembled ; and
in front of
them, placed
comfortably on
the nave of a
broken cart
wheel, sat a
little grey man
in a grey cloak,
and with grey
mogain, or cloth
wrappings, on
his feet,
instead of
brogues. Two
little crutches
lay by his side
; and he was in
the act of
holding forth,
as vigorous
action of head
and hand clearly
testified, when
the newcomers
first caught
sight of him.
"Aye, aye,"
observed Calum
to his
companion, "the
body has come
betimes for the
Free Kirk
communion."
"For sure," was
the reply, "the
gathering would
not be right
without Janet Ghorach and
Duncan nam Mogan."
"Well, Janet
crossed the hill
on Thursday, and
here is Duncan
son of Do'ull
Caol" (Donald
the Thin).
"Has the creature
gone out with
the rest?"
"You may safely
give your word
for that."
"I wish them joy
of his company."
Calum laughed,
for the
cripple's
personal
cleanliness was
not thought to
be as much above
suspicion as his
piety. It was
well known that
at a meeting of
the sisterhood,
previous to a
former
communion, Ealag,
the pink of
tidiness
herself,
strongly
advocated that
Duncan, with
cloak, mogain,
and all, should
be handed over
to fit
caretakers, to
be thoroughly
scrubbed and
purified as
regarded the
outer man. Meg
of Camus said,
in excuse for
him, that he was
clean within ;
whereupon Ealag
answered
sharply, " that
he should then
turn his inside
out." But the
scrubbing was
not carried out.
Duncan, son of
the thin sire,
was born into
the world with
feet not simply
clubbed, hut so
twisted out of
all similitude
to ordinary
human pedestals,
that between the
pair of them
they had not a
single inch of
flat bottom, to
be planted on
the ground. They
were all edges
and toes where
edges and toes
should not be,
and what ought
to have been the
sole leather
formed a spiral
belt to bind
them tightly in
their exceeding
deformity. For
such feet no
brogues could be
fashioned; and
on such feet it
was impossible
to move about or
even stand
without
crutches. But
Duncan was to
the manner born
; and summer and
•winter he
cruised through
a wide district
of the Highlands
with crutches
for horses, and
piety for a
profession. In
summer he was
the cuckoo bird
of the popular
ministers who
went about to a
round of
communions; and
at that time, by
getting many "lifts" no doubt,
the celerity of
his movements
astonishingly
increased. There
was not a morsel
of malice in the
body's
composition, and
he seldom spoke
an unkindly
word, even of
the blackest
Moderates. He
also looked upon
himself rather
as a satellite
of ministers,
than as one
having a
vocation to
speak words in
season or out of
season to the
sinners he
encountered
perpetually.
Still, he now
and then
ventured, when
opportunities
offered, to sing
hymns of wrath
and judgment, and to
declaim
fragments of
passionate
revival sermons
to old women,
about whose
spiritual
condition he
privately
entertained the
gravest
misgivings.
The cripple had
now subsisted on
piety and the
charity of
hospitality—he
was no meal-poke
beggar—for fully
forty years. No
cares in regard
to either
present or
future life
troubled him.
His faith made
him happy, and
much disposed to
sing like a
lark, in spire
of his poverty
and physical
disadvantages.
He did not feel
that he was an
idle, useless
cumberer of the
ground. Nor, in
truth, was he
often idle. No
person of his
age had ever
heard more
sermons. He was
always
diligently
working out his
own salvation,
with much
exercise of his
bit of mind, and
poor pair of
twisted feet.
Something also
required to be
put down to his
credit for the
gentle efforts
he made to shove
old people into
the narrow road.
At communion
field preachings
he invariably
stationed
himself directly
in front of the
tent, and if he
felt pleased and
edified with the
sermon, threw
his head a
little on one
side, like a
grey-clad bird
of paradise. If
he found there
was no life or
flavour about
the discourse he
looked down with
supreme
solemnity on his
twisted feet, as
if contemplating
in a fascinated
manner their
extraordinary
imperfections.
Duncan indeed
was a minister
guager, whose
grey head and
grey cloak most
young ministers
disliked to see
before them ;
and whose
trained instinct
of judgment was
believed in by
many people,
chiefly,
perhaps, because
he possessed a
wonderful
memory, and
could repeat,
years
afterwards, long
portions of
sermons that
pleased him,
while sermons
that pleased him
not escaped at
once through the
holes of his
memory, like
water through a
sieve.
"And
from what airt
art thou now
come, O pilgrim
of the crutches?"
"Soon
after the
Assembly I went
down Cheywich to
the border of
the Galldachd.
On turning back
I spent many
days in the
Strath of the
Eagle, where
Aobhar Dhe (the
cause of God) is
prospering
bonnily."
"What dost thou
mean by that?"
asked Duncan
Ban.
"I just
mean that mostly
all the people
have joined the
Free Kirk with
hearts uplifted,
and that they
are freely
bringing their
silver and gold,
like the
Israelites of
old, as gifts to
the altar. Oh !
it is a season
of outpouring
and miracle!"
"For sure, if
miracles are
beginning anew
one will be
effected on such
a vessel of
holiness as
thyself. I'll
soon expect to
hear that thou
hast thrown away
thy crutches and mogain, and that
thy feet are
beautiful on the
topmost pinnacle
of Ben Lomond,
dancing a
thanksgiving
reel with the
agility of a
bounding roe.
But come, come,
thou art not the
bad body either.
It is natural
thou shouldst be
a son of the
rock (echo) to
thy teachers,
who are mistaken
good men mostly;
but I doubt some
of them are
self-seeking
rogues too. Go
on to my house.
Thou'lt get thy
bit food, and a
shake-down in
the barn as
usual, although
thou hast gone
to the wrong
side of the
hedge with the
many ; and
although I'll
stick to the
Kirk of my
fathers to the
end, desolate as
she is to-day in
this Glen and
many other
places."
Iain
Og—"If he'll go
to your house
he'll find Janet Ghorach there
before him. I
have seen her
not two hours
ago take that
direction."
Duncan nam Mogan—"Oh, thou man of
hospitality (to
Duncan Ban), I
thank you much,
but I must seek
shelter
elsewhere. The
mad woman makes
me tremble."
One of the
Seanairean—"Come to our
house and
welcome. Janet
never comes
near. She says
there is the
blood of an old
feud between our
people and her
people. But that
is all her
madness."
Duncan nam Mogan—"Thank you much;
and, indeed, it
is time I should
be moving, for
it is tired I
feel after the
long lang."
Calum—"But what
fell out between
thee and Janet ?
Was there not
the rumour going
that she put
thee in fear of
thy life?"
Duncan
nam Mogan—"She
did that for
sure. Oh! she
must have a leannan sith.1
It is possessed
by an evil
spirit, I fear
me, the poor
woman must be."
Calum—"Well, in
truth, before
she ever got the
bee of madness
in her head at
all, her natural
ordinary spirit
was pretty
rampageous. But
few women could
beat her at the
wheel, or any
kind of work."
Iain Og—"Did
she not want
thee to dance on
a trencher, and
without thy
crutches too?"
Duncan nam Mogan—"For sure she
did, and on the
Sabbath day
itself! I was
resting in Mungo
Breac's2 house
by the loch
side. Mungo and
his wife left
the house in my
care while they
went to the
evening sermon.
I could not go
myself, because
the forenoon
travel to the
kirk and back
had quite tired
me, the roads
being so wet and
miry. And when I
was left in the
house my lone,
because they
were so wet, I
took the mogain
off my feet, and
placed them by
the side of the
fire. And
crooning bits of
hymns, and going
over verses, I
was thinking of
the New
Jerusalem and
its everlasting
joys, when the
mad woman came
in from the road
; and without a
word of
Christian
greeting she
seized upon me
where I sat,
saying she would
put my crooked
feet straight,
and make me
dance on a
trencher. As
evil luck would
have it, there
was the very
large wooden
trencher
standing by the
end of the aumry,
on which Mungo's
wife makes her
sausages and
puddings. Janet
saw it, seized
upon it, and
placed it in the
middle of the
cearna floor.
Then she took me
under the arms
like a baby, and
placing my feet
on the trencher,
she jumped me up
and down,
bidding me dance
like a good
child, and
singing a
foolish nursing
song while
shaking and
threatening me.
I was that
frightened, I
almost forgot to
pray to the Lord
in my heart. But
without His
knowledge not
even a sparrow
can fall to the
ground. I
believe help was
given me ; for
without crutches
or support, the
mad woman
standing over me
with outspread
arms, I really
stood for a
gliff on my feet
on that sycamore
tree trencher.
That pacified
her a great
deal. She said I
was beginning to
be a good bairn,
and I might rest
a while before
taking my first
lesson in
dancing."
Duncan Ran—"Janet nearly
accomplished a
miracle. But how
didst thou get
out of her hands? It was the
terrible trouble
thou wert in,
for sure."
Duncan nam Mogan—"You
must know
Mungo's house is
near the loch,
and the highway
passes close to
the door. When
she relieved me
for drawing
breath, before
making me
dance—and it was
through the
sword dance,
nothing else,
that she meant
to put me, and
she got long
sharp knives to
do for swords—I
thought it was
near time for
the good walkers
to be coming
back from the
evening service.
I spoke her
fair, wishing to
gain time, and
she was going
through her
ceileirean,
never heeding
that it was the
Sabbath of the
Lord. She was
also telling me
that if I danced
with smeddum,
she would next
teach me to fly.
Oh ! but it was
surely an evil
spirit that had
possession of
her, and it was
my heart that
quaked with
fear. With my
grey cloak, she
said, I was sure
to become a big
gull, which
could fly over
the sea without
bounds, and
bring back sgeul
(news) from the
world behind the
sun. So with her
neonachas
(folly), and
speaking her
fair, the time
slipped by
without her
taking notice of
it; and when I
heard the sound
of voices and
footsteps, I
skelloched with
all my might,
and she, not
guessing what it
was for, said—'
Why, its a crane
thou art going
to be.' Praise
to the Lord, who
sent me rescue
in my strait!
The people
passing by heard
my scream, and
rushed into the
house. She could
do no more than
take me up in
her oxter,
squeezing me
like a pipe-bag,
before the
rescuers took
hold of her.
Then she fled
from the house
screaming, as if
for sure the
evil spirit
possessing her
bewailed the
loss of prey.
But it is moving
on I must be,
and so blessing
be with you
all."
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