The dwelling of the
Minister’s Widow stood within a few fields of the beautiful village of
Castle-Holm, about an hundred low-roofed houses that had taken the name
of the parish of which they were the little romantic capital. Two small
regular rows of cottages faced each other, on the gentle acclivity of a
hill, separated by a broomy common or rich pasturage, through which
hurried a translucent loch-born rivulet, with here and there its shelves
and waterfalls overhung by the alder or weeping birch. Each straw-roofed
abode, snug and merry as a bee-hive, had behind it a few roods of garden
ground; so that, in spring, the village was covered with a fragrant
cloud of blossoms on the pear, apple, and plum trees; and in autumn was
brightened with golden fruitage, in the heart of the village stood the
Manse—and in it had she, who was now a widow, passed twenty years of
privacy and peace. On the death of her husband, she had retired with her
family—three boys, to the pleasant cottage which she now inhabited. It
belonged to the old lady of the Castle, who was patroness of the parish,
and who accepted, from the minister’s widow, of a mere trifle as a
nominal rent. On approaching the village, strangers always fixed upon
Sunny-side for the Manse itself; for an air of serenity and retirement
brooded over it as it looked out from below its sheltering elms, and the
farm-yard with its corn-stack marking the homestead of the agricultural
tenant was there wanting. A neat gravel-walk winded away, without a
weed, from the white gate by the road side, through lilacs and
laburnums; and the unruffled and unbroken order of all the breathing
things that grew around, told that a quiet and probably small family
lived within those beautiful boundaries.
The change from the Manse to Sunny-side had been with the widow a change
from happiness to resignation. Her husband had died of a consumption;
and for nearly a year she had known that his death was inevitable. Both
of them had lived in the spirit of that Christianity which he had
preached; and therefore the last year they passed together, in spite of
the many bitter tears which she who was to be the survivor shed when
none were by to see, was perhaps on the whole the best deserving of the
name' of happiness, of the twenty that had passed over their earthly
union. To the dying man. death had lost all his terrors. He sat beside
his wife, with his bright hollow eyes and emaciated frame, among the
balmy shades of his garden, and spoke with fervour of the many tender
mercies.
God had vouchsafed to them here, and of the promises made to all who
believed in the gospel. They did not sit together to persuade, to
convince, or to uphold each other's faith, for they believed in the
things that were unseen, just as they believed in the beautiful
blossomed arbour that then contained them in its shading silence.
Accordingly, when the hour was at hand, in which he was to render up his
spirit into the hand of God, he was like a grateful and weaned man"
falling into a sleep. His widow closed his eyes with her own hands, nor
was her soul then disquieted within her. In a few days she heard the
bell tolling, and from her sheltered window looked out, and followed the
funeral with streaming eyes but an unweeping heart. With a calm
countenance, and humble voice, she left and bade farewell to the sweet
Manse, where she had so long been happy—and as her three beautiful boys,
with faces dimmed by natural grief, but brightened by natural gladness,
glided before her steps, she shut the gate of her new dwelling with an
undisturbed soul, and moved her lips in silent thanksgiving to the God
of the fatherless and the widow.
Her three boys, each one year older than the other, grew m strength and
beauty, the pride and flower of the parish. In school they were quiet
and composed; but in play-hours they bounded in their glee together like
young deer, and led the sportful flock in all their excursions through
wood or over moor. They resembled, in features and in voice, both of
their gentle parents; but nature had moulded to quite another character
then joyful and impetuous souls. When sitting or walking with their
mother, they subdued their spirits down to suit her equable and gentle
contentment; and behaved towards her with a delicacy and thoughtfulness,
which made her heart to sing for joy. So too did they sit in the kirk on
Sabbath, and during all that day the fountain of their joy seemed to
subside and to lie still. They knew to stand solemnly with their mother,
now and then on the calm summer evenings, beside their father’s grave.
They remembered well his pale kind face—his feeble walk—his bending
frame—his hand laid in blessing on then- young heads —and the last time
they ever heard him speak. The glad boys had not forgotten their father;
and that they proved by their piety unto her whom most on earth had
their father loved. But their veins were filled With youth, health, and
the electricity of joy; and they carried without and within the house
such countenances as at any time coming upon their mother’s eyes on a
sudden, was like a torch held Up in the dim melancholy of a mist,
diffusing cheerfulness and elevation.
Years past on. Although the youngest was but a boy, the eldest stood on
the verge of manhood, for he had entered his seventeenth year, and was
bold, straight, and tall, with a voice deepening in its tone, a graver
expression round the gladness of his eyes, and a sullen mass of
coal-black hair hanging over the smooth whiteness of his open forehead.
But why describe .the three beautiful brothers? They knew that there was
a world lying at a distance that called upon them to leave the fields,
and woods, and streams, and lochs .of Castle-Holm; and, born and bred in
peace as they had been, their restless hearts were yet all can fire, and
they burned to join a life of danger, strife, and tumult. No doubt it
gave their mother a sad heart to think that all her three boys who she
knew loved her so tenderly could leave her all alone, and rush into the
far-off world. But who shall curb nature? Who ought to try to curb it
when its bent is strong? She reasoned a while, and tried to dissuade.
But it was in vain. Then she applied to her friends; and the widow of
the minister of Castle-Holm, retired as ins life had been, Was not
without friends of rank and power. In one year her three boys had their
wish, in one year they left Sunny-side, one after the other; William to
India,—Edward to Spain,—and Harry to a Man-of-War.
Still was the widow happy. The house that so often used to be ringing
with joy was now indeed too too silent; and that utter noiselessness
sometimes made her heart sick when sitting by herself in the solitary
room. But by nature she was a gentle, meek, resigned, and happy being;
and had she even been other-wise, the sorrow she had suffered, and the
spirit of religion which her whole life had instilled, must have
reconciled her to what was now her lot. Great cause had she to be glad.
Far away as India was, and seemingly more remote in her imagination,
loving letters came from her son there in almost every ship that sailed
for Britain; and if, at times, something delayed them; she came to
believe in the necessity of such delays and, without quaking, waited
till the blessed letter did in truth appear. Of Edward, in Spain, she
often heard, —though for him she suffered more than for the others. Not
that she loved him better, for, like three' stars, each possessed alike
the calm heaven of her heart; but he was with Wellington, and the
regiment, in which he served, seemed to be conspicuous in all
skirmishes, and in every battle. Henry, her youngest boy, who left her
before he had finished his fourteenth' year, she often heard from; his
ship sometimes put into port and once, to the terror and consternation
of her loving and yearning heart, the; young midshipman stood before
her, with a laughing voice, on the floor of the parlour, and rushed into
her arms. He had got leave of absence for a fortnight; and proudly
although "sadly too did she look on her dear boy when he was sitting in
the kirk with his uniform on, and his war-weapons by his side,—a
fearless and beautiful stripling,'on whom many an eye was insensibly
turned even during service. And, to be sure, when the congregation were
dismissed, and the young sailor came smiling out into the church-yard,
never was there such a shaking of hands seen before. The old men blessed
the gallant boy,— many of the mothers looked at him not without tears;
and the young maidens, who had heard that he had been in a bloody
engagement, and once nearly shipwrecked, gazed upon him with unconscious
blushes, and bosoms that beat with innocent emotion. A blessed week it
was indeed that he was then with his mother; and never before had
Sunny-side seemed so well to deserve its name.
To love, to fear, and to obey God, was the rule of this widow’s life.
.And the time was near at hand when she was to be called upon to
practise it in every silent, secret, darkest corner and recess of her
afflicted spirit. Her eldest son, William, fell in storming a fort in
India, as he led the forlorn hope. He was i killed dead in a moment, and
fell into the trench with all his lofty plumes.. Edward was found dead
at Talavera, with the colours of his regiment tied round his body. And
the ship in which Henry was on board, that never would have struck her
flag to any human power sailing on the sea, was driven by a storm on a
reef of rocks,—went to pieces during the night,—and of eight hundred men
not fifty were saved. Of that number Henry was not,—but his body w as
found next day on the sand, along with those of many of the crew, and
buried, as it deserved, with all honours, and in a place where few but
sailors slept.
In one month, one little month, did the tidings of the three deaths
reach Sunny-side. A Government letter informed her of William’s death,
in India, and added, that, on account of the distinguished character of
the young soldier, a small pension would be settled on his mother. Had
she been starving of want, instead of blest with competence, that word
would have had then no meaning to her ear. Yet true it is, that a
human—an earthly pride, cannot be utterly extinguished, even by severest
anguish, in a mother’s heart, yea even although her best hopes are
garnered up in heaven; and the weeping widow could not help feeling it
now, when, with the black wax below her eyes, she read how her dead boy
had not fallen in the service of an ungrateful state. A few days
afterwards, a letter came from himself, written in the highest spirits
and tenderest affection. His mother looked at every word,—every letter,
—every dash of the pen;—and still one thought, one thought only, was in
her soul, “ the living hand that traced these lines, where, what, is it
now?” But this was the first blow only; ere the new-moon was visible,
the widow knew that she was altogether childless.
It was in a winter hurricane that her youngest boy had perished; and the
names of those whose health had hitherto been remembered at every festal
Christmas, throughout all the parish, from the Castle to the humblest
hut, were now either suppressed within the heart, or pronounced with a
low voice and a sigh. :During three months, Sunny-side looked almost as
if uninhabited. yet the smoke from one chimney told that the childless
widow was sitting -alone at her fireside; and when her only servant was
spoken to at 4 church, or on the village green, and asked how her
mistress was bearing these dispensations, the answer was, that her
health seemed little, if at all impared, and that she talked of coming
to divine service in a few weeks, if her strength would permit. She had
been seen, through the leafless hedge, standing at the parlour window,
and had motioned with her hand to a neighbour who, in passing, had
uncovered his head. Her weekly bounty to several poor and bed-ridden
persons had never suffered but one week’s intermission. It was always
sent to them on Saturday night; and it was on a Saturday night that all
the parish had been thrown into tears, with the news that Henry’s ship
had been wrecked, and the brave boy drowned. On that evening she had
forgotten the puor.
But now the Spring had put forth her tender buds and blossoms,—had
strewn the black ground under the shrubs with flowers,—and was bringing
up the soft, tender, and beautiful green over the awakening face ' of
the earth. There was a revival of the spirit of life, and gladness over
the garden, and the one encircling field of Sunnyside; and so likewise,
under the grace of God, was there a revival of the soul that had been
sorrowing within its concealment. On the first sweet dewy Sabbath of
May, the widow was seen closing behind tier the little white gate, which
for some months her hand had not touched. She gave a gracious, but
mournful smile, to all her friends, as she passed on through the midst
of them, along with the minister, who had joined her on entering the
church-yard; and although it was observed that she turned pale as she
sat down in her pew, with the Bibles and Psalm books that had belonged
to her sons lying before her, as they themselves had enjoined when they
went away, yet her face brightened even as her heart began to burn
within her at the simple music of the psalm. The prayers of the
congregation had some months before been requested for her, as a person
- in great distress; and during service, the young minister, according
to her desire, now said a few simple words, that intimated to the
congregation, that the childless widow was, through his lips, returning
thanks to Almighty God, for that he had not forsaken her in her trouble,
but sent resignation and peace.
From that day she was seen, as before, in her house, in her garden,
along the many pleasant walks all about the village, and in the summer
evenings, though not so often as formerly, in the dwellings of her
friends, both high and low. From her presence a more gentle manner
seemed to be breathed over the rude, and a more heartfelt delicacy over
the refined. Few had suffered as she had suffered; all her losses were
such as could be understood, felt, and wept over by all hearts; and all
boisterousness or levity of joy would have seemed an outrage on her,
who, .sad and melancholy herself, yet wished all around her happy, and
often lighted up her countenance with a grateful smile, at the sight of
that pleasure which she could not but observe to be softened, sobered,
and subdued for her sake.
Such was the account of her, her sorrows, and her resignation, which I
received on the first visit I paid to a family near Castle-Holm, after
the final consummation of her grief. Well known to me had all the dear
boys been; their father and mine had been labourers in the same
vineyard; and as I had always been a welcome visitor, when a boy, at the
Manse of Castle-Holm, so had I been, when a man, at Sunny-side. Last
time I had been there, it was during the holidays, and I had accompanied
the three boys on their fishing excursions to the Lochs in the moor; and
in the evening* pursued with them their humble and useful studies: so I
could not leave Castle-Holm without visiting Sunnyside, although my
heart misgave me, and I wished 1 could have delayed it till another
summer.
I sent word that I was coming to see her, and I found her sitting in
that well-known little parlour, where I had partaken the pleasure of so
many merry evenings, with those whose laughter was now extinguished. We
sat for a while together speaking of ordinary topics, and then utterly
silent. But the restraint she had imposed upon herself she either
thought unnecessary any longer, or felt it to be impossible; and rising
up, went to a little desk, from which she brought forth three
miniatures, and laid them down upon the table before us, saying, "Behold
the faces of ray three dead boys!”
So bright, breathing, and alive did they appear, that for a moment I
felt impelled to speak to them, and to whisper their names. She beheld
my emotion, and said unto me, “Oh ! could you believe that they are all
dead! Does not that smile on Willy's face seem as if it were immortal!
Do not Edward’s sparkling eyes look so bright as f the mists of death
could never have overshadowed them! and think-Oh! think, that ever
Henry’s golden hair should have been draggled in the brine, and filled
full, full, I doubt not, of the soiling sand!”
I put the senseless images one by one to lily lips; and kissed their
foreheads—for dearly had I loved these three brothers; and then I shut
them up and removed them to another part of the room. I wished to speak
but I could not; and, looking ori the face of her who was before me, I
knew that her grief would. find utterance, and that not until she had
unburthened her heart could it be restored to repose.
“They would tell you. Sir, that I bear my trials well; but it is not so.
Many, many unresigned arid ungrateful tears has my God to forgive in me,
a poor, weak; and repining worm. Almost every day, almost every night,
do I weep before these silent arid beautiful phantoms; and when I wipe
away the breath and mist of tears from their faces, there are they
shrilirig continually upon me! Oh! death is a shocking thought when it
is linked in love with creatures so young as these! More insupportable
is gushing tenderness, than even dry despair; and, methinks, I could
bear to live without them, and never to see them more, if I could only
cease to pity them! But that can never be. It is for them I weep, not
for myself. If they were to be restored to life, would I not lie down
with thankfulness into the grave? William and Edward were struck down,
and died, as they thought, in glory and triumph. Death to them was
merciful. But who can know, although they may try to dream of it in
horror, what the youngest of them, my sweet Harry, suffered, through
that long dark howling night of snow, when the ship was going to pieces
on the rocks!”
That last dismal thought held her for a while silent; and some tears
stood in drops on her eye-lashes, but seemed again to be absorbed. Her
heart appeared unable to cling to the horrors of the shipwreck, although
it coveted them; and her thoughts reverted to other objects. “I walk
often into the rooms where they used to sleep, and look on their beds
till I think I see their faces lying with shut eyes on their pillows.
Early in the morning, do I often think I hear them singing—I -waken from
troubled unrest, as if the knock of their sportive hands w ere at my
duor summoning me to rise. All their stated hours of study and of
play—when they went to school and returned from—when they came into
meals—when they said their prayers—when they went leaping at night to
bed a slight somely, after all the day's fatigue/ as if they had just
risen. Oh!—Sir—at all these times and many, and many a time besides
these, do I> think of them whom you loved.”
While thus she kept indulging the passion of her grief, she observed the
tears I could no longer conceal; and the sight of my sorrow seemed to
give/for a time, a loftier character to hers; as if my weakness made her
aware of her own, and: she had become conscious of the character of her
vain lamentations. “Yet, why should I so bitterly weep? Pain had not
troubled them—passion had not disturbed them—vice had not polluted them.
May I not say, “My children are in heaven with their father”—and ought I
not, therefore, to dry up all these foolish tears now and for evermore?”
Composure was suddenly shed over her countenance, like gentle sun-light
over a cheerless day, and-she looked around the room as if searching for
some pleasant objects that eluded her sight. "See,” said she, “yonder
are all their books, arranged just as Henry arranged them on his
unexpected visit. Alas ! too m;iny of them are about the troubles and
battles of the sea ! But it matters not now. You are looking at that
drawing. It was done by himself,—that is the ship he was so proud of,
sailing in sunshine and a pleasant breeze. Another ship indeed was she
soon after, when she lay upon the reef! But as for the books, I take
them out of their places mid dust them, and return them to their places,
every week. I used to read to my boy's, sitting round my knees, out of
many of these books, before they could read themselves, but now I never
peruse them, for their cheerful stories are not for me. But there is one
Book I do read, and without it I should long age have been dead. The
more the heart suffers, the more does it understand that Book. Never do
I read a single chapter without feeling assured of something more awful
in our nature than I felt before. My own heart misgives me; my own soul
betrays me; all my comforts desert me in a panic; but never yet once did
I read one whole page of the New Testament that I did not know that the
eye of God is on all his creatures, and on me like the rest, though my
husband and all my sons are dead, and I may have many years yet to live
alone on the earth.”
After this we walked out into the little avenue, now dark with the deep
rich shadows of summer beauty. We looked at that beauty, and spoke of
the surpassing brightness of the weather- during all June, and advancing
July. It is not in nature always to be sad; and the remembrance of all
her melancholy and even miserable confessions was now like an uncertain
echo, as I beheld a placid smile on her face, a smile of such perfect
resignation, that it might not falsely be called a smile of joy. We
stood at the little white gate; and with a gentle voice, that perfectly
accorded with that expression, she bade God bless me; and then with
composed steps, and now and then turning up, as she walked along, the
massy flower-branches of the laburnum as bent with their load' of beauty
they trailed upon the ground, she disappeared into that retirement,
which, notwithstanding all I had seen and heard, I could not but think
deserved almost to be called happy, in a world which even the most
thoughtless know is a world of sorrow. |