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Ancient Marriage Customs.
Some ancient marriage customs
cited,
Some modern customs 'shown,
Some evil customs not yet righted,
Some good ones used and known.
We hope it will be long
before any other idea than that a halo of religious sanctity hangs over the
marriage ceremony in >Great Britain, will pervade the national mind. That
marriage should be looked upon in a sacred light, and not merely as a legal
contract, by which one person is bound to another for life, as an apprentice
is for seven years, is especially desirable to the unthinking, the volatile,
and the rash, to say nothing of the vicious and the wicked. Many a
thoughtless person will unreflectingly enter upon a civil contract, however
binding, (and peradventure to their sorrow afterwards,) when, on the other
hand, had the sanctity of the church hovered like a descending dove over the
contract, that same person would have hesitated to proceed thus blindly. And
then, from hesitating to go forward with precipitancy, time would be given
to reflect, and reflexion might bring reason, and reason might save that
person from doing an action which would be the misery of all after years,
had it been done. Even the greatest sinners that tread this earth under
foot, that desecrate the sabbath, or live a life of blind iniquity, still
feel an awe when they enter a church to go through the ceremony of a binding
obligation. It is a fact, that many an atheist, who knows not what the words
"God," or "religion" mean, or who will never scruple to tell any the most
horrible lie to suit his purpose, will, nevertheless, shun repeating the
same thing, either before the altar, or with his right hand placed upon the
bible ; and yet this atheist openly derides and disbelieves every word that
the bible contains, and always says in his heart, "There is no God." Even to
such a one as this, there is an indescribable, inscrutable, and mysteriously
dreaded something connected with the sound of that word religion, which all
his disbelief cannot overcome, and which all his philosophy cannot persuade
away. If the idea of a God be not innate, then we will give way to Locke,
and concede that we are born without ideas, of a truth: but if the most
barbarous, ignorant, neglected, or abandoned that ever stepped on British
soil, have not clear notions on this subject, still, there never was a
person, however benighted, but owned to a superstitious fear of some
undefined power beyond the world superior to himself and his control; and
this is the crude commencement of belief.
The love of being united
beneath the groined ceiling of Mother Church, is a taste so
intimately-belonging to the public mind in this country, that we trust no
new law, enacted for the convenience of sectarians, will be able to banish
it from the preference of those who, not being sectarians, are not
necessitated to relinquish it. To the thoughtless it makes the tie more
sacred and more serious, and hence is not so likely to be lightly
undertaken; and when undertaken, not so lightly held in estimation.
Previously to the statute 26
George II. c. 33., the simple fact of two persons associating together for a
time, constituted a marriage in this country, arid was so recognized by the
common law : this statute, however, was enacted to ensure a greater degree
of security to the parties contracting than such a negligent practice
enforced, to secure their several interests with greater certainty, and to
remove the evils arising out of such negligence. This statute,
notwithstanding, says Richard Mathews, Esq. of the Middle Temple, barrister
at law, and so forth, "committed the palpable error of permitting the
solemnization of matrimony only by the clergy of the established Church, in
facie ecclesiae ; an error which has been handed down through a series of
enactments to the present time, and only now about to be abrogated." That is
to say, abrogated by the recent act of 6 & 7 William IV. c. 85.
Albeit this recent law docs
not compel persons, as heretofore by the former compelled, to repair to the
altar ; still there is something about the ceremony so imposing and so
solemn, that it is difficult for the mind to be persuaded to consider it in
any other light than in a religious one. "The opinions which have divided
the world," says another man of law, "or writers, at least, on this subject,
are generally two ;—it is held by some persons that marriage is a contract
merely civil; by others that it is a sacred, religious, and spiritual
contract, and only so to be considered.1' According to my Lord Stowell, it
is neither one nor the other, or both; it is more than either, or
peradventure more than both. "According to juster notions of the nature of
the marriage contract, it is not merely a civil or religious contract; at
the present time it is not to be considered as, originally and simply, one
or the other."
Again, in another place, says
the same noble and learned lord:—"In the Christian church, marriage was
elevated in a later age to the dignity of a sacrament, in consequence of its
divine' institution, and of some expressions of high and mysterious import
respecting it contained in the sacred writings. The law of the church—the
canon law—(a system which, in spite of its absurd pretentions to a higher
origin, is, in many of its provisions, deeply enough founded in the wisdom
of man), although, in conformity to the prevailing theological opinion, it
reverenced marriage as a sacrament, still so far respected its natural and
civil origin as to consider, that where the natural and civil contract was
formed, it had the full essence of matrimony, without the intervention of a
priest; it had even in that state the character of a sacrament: for it is a
misapprehension to suppose that this intervention was required as a matter
of necessity, even for that- purpose, before the Council of Trent. It
appears from the histories of that Council, as well, as from many other
authorities,' that this was the state of the earlier law till that council
passed its decree for the reformation of marriage : the consent of two
parties, expressed in words of present mutual acceptance, constituted - an
actual and legal marriage, technically known by the name of sponsalta per
verba de presenti—improperly enough, because sponsalia in the original and
classical meaning of the words, are preliminary ceremonials of marriage."
Another learned man of law,
and one of her maj jesties counsel, in commenting on the above, says : — "It
is to be noticed, that these observations, though general in their tenor,
were made in a case in which the marriage in issue did not depend upon the
rules of English law, but in the case of a marriage contracted in Scotland
[of course Gretna Green, for Scotland is not Scotland without Gretna], which
was to be decided therefore by the rules of the law prevailing in that
country."
We know we have power now to
enter into "the holy estate" independently of clerical co-operation and
clerical blessing—(but what will now make it "holy" when such adjuncts are
wanting we know that there are such personages as superintendent registrars,
and such places as superintendent registrars' offices, but so wedded are the
English, as a nation, to the love of Mother Church in these matters, that,
with few exceptions, and those mostly arising out of necessity, they cannot
voluntarily wed under any other roof than a groined one, with a "dim
religious light" falling upon them.
Let not the ultra high church
in principle rashly declare that the recent statute has been enacted either
in defiance of conscience or neglect of all religion; but rather as a
measure of charity, and consideration, and Christian tolerance to those who
do not (we hope conscientiously) think as we do in the matter of our creed
and tenets:—as a measure enacted to meet the scruples of the many different
sects of Christians who, in a land of liberty, are entitled to freedom of
opinion and exemption from persecution:—as a measure enacted to prevent
their being driven to Gretna Green to be married, as they complained the
rigidity of the old law com pelled them to do.
Our Anglo-Saxon forefathers
considered the intervention of a priest necessary—a presumption that they
considered the ceremony in a religious point of view; and, with certain
exceptions, superinduced rather from circumstances than choice, so also have
the majority of their descendants in this country. Clandestine marriages,
however, had become somewhat prevalent with the less scrupulous on the
Continent ; and to correct this practice, Pope Innocent III. issued bulls
enforcing it under severe denunciations that the contract should be entered
upon in the church—in facie ecclesia, so that all men might witness thereto.
Indeed, this said innocent Pope is reputed to have been amongst the first
who proclaimed the ceremony in a holy light; for before his time it had been
looked upon merely as a civil transaction.
During the middle ages in our
own country it was not the custom to be wedded before the altar in the
church as now, but to stand at the church door during the greater part of
the ceremony. The way appears to have been, for the bride and bridegroom to
come up to one of the principal entrances of the building, " with their
friends and neighbours,1' where they met the priest, and where he asked them
certain prescribed questions, and duly commenced the service as the rubric
directed. At the proper place also he joined their hands (supposing their
hearts to have already been joined before), calling upon them to love, and
to cherish, and so forth, as is quaintly described in some ancient missals
which refer respectively to the cathedrals of Hereford and Salisbury. The
dos ad ostium ecclesiee, there at the porch, was likewise bestowed upon the
bride before they quitted their stand; but when the priest came to that part
which is now followed by his turning to the altar and repeating the psalm,
they all ascended the steps, and walked towards the eastern extremity of the
edifice, where his blessing was given to the newly married couple.
We are told by Warton, that
on the southern facade of Norwich Cathedral there is a sculpture in stone
setting forth the espousals or sacrament of marriage according to this old
English custom, but we have not had an opportunity of seeing it ourselves.
If, also, we may believe the representation of a rare engraving by Mr.
Walpole, we may conclude that this mode of procedure was not confined to the
humble, the poor, or the inferior in degree, but that the noble, and even
the royal submitted to it. This engraving shows us King Henry VII. together
with his queen and a group of courtiers, standing together at the western
portico of a Gothic cathedral, where the shaven and stoled ecclesiastics are
about to celebrate the union of these two Roses of York and Lancaster.
Geoffroi Chaucer alludes to
this same usage in speaking of the "Wife of Bath." He says,—
"She was a worthy woman all
her live, Husbands at the church door she had had five."
Sir William Blackstone tells
us, in speaking of " Dower ad ostium ecclesia," when a man endowed his wife
with his worldly goods, even there at the church door, that the custom was
to ascertain and specify minutely, with a clear voice, the amount of his
lauds about to be conferred upon her: and in discoursing of certain other
species of dower, he sets forth how it was enforced, that they be thus
publicly bestowed to prevent fraud—in fine, that they be made in facie
ecclesia et ad ostium ecclesiee: non enim valent facta in lecto mortali, nec
in camera aut alibi ubi clandest in a fuer e conjugia.
In the middle ages, at such
times when the feudal system of tenures of frank-tenement and knight service
were at their most universal pitch of prevalence, the husband was not
permitted to endow his wife ad ostium ecclesia, with more than one-third
part of the lands whereof he was at that time seized, albeit, he might endow
her with as much- less as he pleased : and the reason of such a law was,
that if more liberal endowments had been allowed, the generous husband might
injure his superior baron, of whom he held, his fee or territory.
'By this it is plain to see,
that, husbands (always tender) are more especially so at such moments than
at any other .moments of their lives,—so very tender, and so very, genferous
to-their sweet wives, that their , generosity was obliged to be restricted
by law, lest they should ruin themselves by giving away the uttermost of
their possessions.
The priest inquired of him
what he gave his bride? and if it were lands, an appropriate part of the
service was repeated—"sacerdos interroget dotem mulieris et si terra ei in
dotem detur tunc dicatur psalmus iste," &c. He described the nature of the
gift,—"quod dotat earn de tali manerio cum pertinentiis,"—and when he did
so—"ubi quis uxorem suam dotaverit in generali, de omnibus terris et
tenementis," he repeated the words, "with all my lands and tenements I thee
endow." When, however, he endowed her with personalty only, he said, " with
all my worldly goods, (or, as the Salisbury ritual has it, with all my
worldly chatel) I thee endow; which entitled her to her thirds, or 'pars
rationalibis of his personal estate, as is provided for in Magna Charta.
According to Tacitus, who
wrote about the practices of the Germans many and many centuries ago, the
ancient ladies of that nation—or rather the ladies of that ancient
nation—enjoyed great privileges in the matter of marriage settlements,
entered upon and stipulated, not at the church door forsooth, when the
execution was half over, but at their own homes before they had £9 much as
commenced any part of the business. Caius Julius Caesar also sets forth how
shrewdly the Gauls drew out cunning documents betwixt each other in'-
negotiations of -a like sort : wherefore, good reader, it is rational to.
suppose that they had no Gretna Green- to go to,* since at Gretna these
things are, for the most part, done with expedition, and often without the
tedious process of achieving unpoetic parchments. No one does a thing
tardily at Gretna, no one moves slowly, no one stops to question, no one
stays to reflect, it is all expedition there, all lightning, all wildfire:
and thus it is, that as they mostly so well manage to "marry in haste," they
sometimes also now and then manage to "repent at leisure afterwards, when
they have time to look round them and cool."
Dr. Granville tells us that
it is the custom in Saint Petersburgh for the young candidates to assemble
at the church door, much after the manner of our great-grandsires in
Britain, it should appear ; and here they were met by a priest vestured in
rich habiliments, attended by a deacon. The former then placed a lighted
taper in the hands of each, made the sign of the cross three several times
on their foreheads, and conducted them through the church direct to the
altar. As they proceeded, the priest, assisted by the choristers, recited a
litany, whilst other holy functionaries smoked them pretty dry with the
fumes of incense. Arrived at the eastern extremity of the building, two
rings were produced, which were laid upon a table; the priest turned to the
altar, recited a prayer or invocation, and then, veering round again to the
young tremblers, blessed the rings, and delivered them to those whom it
might concern. Whilst they held them, he cried with a loud voice, "Now and
for ever, even unto ages of ages." This declaration he repeated three times,
the bride and bridegroom exchanging rings at each repetition. This was not
all: the rings were once more delivered to the cure, who now having crossed
the foreheads of the future wearers, himself placed them on the right-hand
fore-finger of each. He then turned to the altar to read the remainder of
the service, during which allusion was made to the several passages in the
Bible wherein the ring is mentioned as the symbol of union, honour, and
power.
The most critical,
interesting, but nervous part of the whole affair next followed. The priest
took both parties by the hand, and led them to a silken carpet that was
spread for the purpose, and it is the steadfast belief, that whichever shall
first step thereon, will enjoy the mastery over the other throughout life ;
and in this instance the lady was fully alive to the securing of her own
interests, for Dr. Granville adds, "the bride secured possession of this
prospective advantage with modest forwardness."
A more ancient way of
securing the same great good, is mentioned by Anthony Jenkinson, who was in
Russia about the middle of the sixteenth century. He is describing what
happens in the church after they have been actually united.
"They begin to drinke; and
fyrst the woman drinketh to the man, and when he hath drunke, he letteth the
cupp fall to the ground, hasting im-mediatelie to tread vppon yt: and soe
doth she, and whether of them tread fyrst vppon yt must have the victorie,
and bee master at alle tymes after, whiche commonlie happeneth to the man,
for he is readiest to set his foot vppon yt, because he letteth yt falle."
The lady has gained by the
change of times; for her chances of securing a place on the rug are as good
as his.
Surely the fairer moiety of
creation must be possessed of a most ambitious temperament—surely this
moiety must be innately indued with the qualities that cause personages of
great genius, like balloons, to be ever striving towards ascent—surely these
gentle creatures in England have universally adopted, or are ready born with
that article of dress about them, which, setting aside all the nonsense of
stepping upon rugs, of stamping upon drinking cups, will secure to a wife
the supremacy; for albeit nothing be visible to the impertinent eye but a
nice neat little white lacc frill round the ankle, yet that little harmless
looking frill is enough to warn the reflecting and the considerate of how
great an engine of power is really attached to it, although in inscrutable
concealment.
Matrimonial dominion is not
to be attained through the previous act of a feat of agility or of
legerdemain, but by a course of subsequent forbearance mutually urged. and
reciprocated the one towards the other; and this forbearance more especially
enforced during the first year ; for after that time, the forbearance, at
first a duty, will have become a habit, natural and easy to follow.
"Man and wife are equally
concerned to avoid all offences of each other in the beginning of their
conversation says the worthy Jeremy Taylor:" every little thing can blast an
infant blossom, and the breath of the south can shake the little rings of
the vine, when first they begin to curl like the locks of a new-weaned boy:
but when, by age and consolidation, they stiffen into the hardness of a
stem, and have, by the warm embraces of the sun and the kisses of heaven,
brought forth their clusters, they can endure the storms of the north, and
the loud noises of a tempest, and yet never be broken. So arc the early
unions of an unfixed marriage; watchful and observant, jealous and busy,
inquisitive and careful, and apt to take alarm at every unkind word ; for
infirmities do not manifest themselves in the first scenes, but in the
succession of long society; and it is not chance or weakness when it appears
at first, but it is want of love or prudence, or it will be so expounded ;
and that which appears ill at first, usually affrights the inexperienced man
or woman, who makes unequal conjectures, and fancies mighty sorrows by the
new and early unkindness."
These are excellent words,
and deserving of a second reading: happy those who will store them up and
abide by them. If we can only get over the first year in peace, the way is
smooth afterwards. |
