SEARCH RESULTS Sort by : Article Name Oldest Article Newest Article Votes Rating  A Texan in the Scottish Highlands Alasdair had a wee croft in the Scottish Highlands with a few cows, pigs and chickens as well as some barley. Alasdair was leaning on his spade outside of his byre having just mucked it out. Along the narrow road comes a large shiny Cadillac driven by a gentleman wearing a cowboy hat. The grand car stops across from Alasdair and the driver yells out, “Hey, does y’all work here?” in a strong American accent. Alasdair looks around puzzled and replies, “Nay, it’s just me here.” The... Category Humour Visitor Rating (0)  Captain Patrick's Oatmeal Crisps Tea Time Wi' Angus: Preheat oven to 400 dgrees F Ingredients: 1 cup melted butter 1 cup rolled (not instant) oats 1 cup dark brown sugar 1 cup all-purpose or 1/2 cup each of all-pupose and whole wheat flour 1 teaspoon baking soda pinch of salt Directions Mix all ingredients together. Spoon out teaspoonfuls on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 400 F for 8 to 10 minutes. Category Recipes Visitor Rating (0)  Deep Fried Mars Bars Tea Time Wi' Angus:    The North East of Scotland delicacy of the deep fried Mars bar and where it was invented: The Deep Fried Mars Bar was invented in Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire, Scotland by the chippie, or chipper as they say in Grampian, Carron Fish and Chip Shop at Allardice Street in 1995. In 2007 the deep fried Mars bar was named as the 10th most unhealthy food ever. This hasn't stopped many regulars at the Carron Fish and Chip Shop from ordering their favourite... Category Recipes Visitor Rating (0)  Gie's a push! GIE'S A PUSH! Angus and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud banging at the front door of their croft. Angus gets up and goes to the door where there is a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain. “Can you gie’s a push?” he asks in a slurred voice.  “Not a chance, you drunken git!” says Angus, “it’s 3:00 in the morning!” “Call the AA”, and he slams the door and returns to bed. “Who was that?” asked his wife. “Just some old drunken sod asking for a... Category Humour Visitor Rating (1)  Rapid Police Response How to get rapid action from the police in rural Scotland:Jock Mackenzie lived on a wee croft just outside of Alness. One night as he was going up to bed, his wife complained to him that he'd left the light on in the shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. Jock opened the back door to go out to the shed to turn off the light but saw that there were villains in his shed stealing things.  He dialled 999 to get the police, identified himself and reported what he had... Category Humour Visitor Rating (4)  Scottish Senior dating Fiona and Edna, two "senior" Scottish widows, are talking. Fiona: "That nice Angus MacDonald asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my flat punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a big posh car...A limousine, uniformed... Category Humour Visitor Rating (2)